An Interview with God

The foothills of the Swiss Alps, Paris streets, and a German café—this has been a whirlwind adventure thus far.  Now at the half-way mark of my European speaking tour, I managed to sit down for some reflection on the Eurostar train headed towards England. At this point in my journey I find it helpful to remember that God is by my side, and if we were to speak out loud to each other, maybe it would sound like this: 

“Good morning Sarah.  How are you doing today?

“Pretty good.  A little tired but I am on the train back to London so I can sit back and relax for awhile while talking to you.”

“Good.  We’ll make sure you get to bed at a decent hour after you speak on the poetry panel tonight.  But for now, let’s talk.  You have been on the road for nearly three weeks.  Overall, how has the trip been going for you?”

“The trip has been going well.  It has been stressful at times and breathtaking at others.  I’ve seen so much that it is going to take me a long time to digest it all.”

“What are some of your favorite things you’ve seen?”

“Many cathedrals, churches, and museums.  I also loved seeing the original works at the British Library and a German poet’s museum in Germany.  Two that really moved me deeply and meant a lot to me were the Anne Frank House and the Corrie Ten Boom Museum.

"Anne Frank and Corrie Ten Boom are household names in America and were part of my education.  They were stories I knew well but hearing a story and then visiting the houses where the events took place are entirely different experiences.  I can read about the hiding place in Corrie’s bedroom all I want, but to stand inside it with five other people, the amount in hiding when the family was arrested, the truth becomes known in your body and what they did reaches way down deep inside me.

“Being in Europe itself was also life changing.  You hear a story but then when you visit the place, it becomes so much more real to you.  At the beach, Marielke and Fritz told me as we sat in the dunes that they are still finding buried bodies from World War II when the Nazis would take their Jewish and political prisoners and make them dig their own graves there before shooting them.  I am born a Jew and though it is above my grandmother’s generation (usually the cut-off for the Nazis), I am still racially Jewish and involved at Temple so I don’t think they would have had a problem killing me too.  Besides being in places I would have been killed, not that I wouldn’t be killed for being a woman or Christian at other times and places, seeing the repercussions and hearing people’s stories of their families, I realized it is not something that happened 70 years ago, but is part of the fabric of life today.  Temples still have tight security in Europe as anti-Semitism in still around.”

“You have spent a lot of time with people from other cultures. What has that been like?”

“For most of my time thus far, I have been the only person from my country.  At the conference in Switzerland of 80–90 people, there were people from 26 different countries including a few people from the U.S.  Among the young adults there were ten countries represented, I was the only person from the U.S., and there were seven countries in my small group.  I have really enjoyed these times of getting to know people from all over the world.  It helps me gain a wider perspective on life, to not be so boxed in within my own culture, to be able to see past it and that there are many ways of speaking and living.  By knowing and appreciating other people’s cultures, it has helped me see the light and dark sides of my own.”

“You don’t speak Flemish, German, Swiss, or French.  How have you been getting along?”

“It has been really hard.  I liken it to a cat having tape put on its paws.  Cats sense a lot through their paws and having that sense taken away is very limiting.  It feels like your hands and feet have been tied up as well as a gag over your mouth for you don’t understand signs or conversations.  Being a speaker and writer, having my career and ministry based on the English language, this has been particularly difficult.  I learned to tune most everything out, all the conversations and all the signs.  In Germany I was in a huge bookstore and was not tempted to pick up even one book.  This is huge for me as I love reading but all the books were in German so I just tuned them out.  Most of my world has been tuned out.  I have managed to learn to figure things out and get the gist of what some of the signs say and that has helped.  I have also learned to search for someone who speaks English who can help me find my way.  This has not been easy to do at times when each of us speaks very little of the other’s language.  One word I did learn pretty quickly is the French word for exit, sortie. Still, I have spent so much time conversing and spending time with people from other countries that it has become a huge treat to talk to someone who speaks English with an accent similar to my own.  This gives my ears and brain a break from trying to understand all the different accents!  It has been funny standing in lines when I find myself next to someone from America or Canada (this does not happen often) who has something near my accent.  We are so happy to talk for a few minutes together!”

“Traveling alone must be challenging at times.  What has that been like for you?”

“Well, first, I am not alone. You are with me everywhere I go.  But you’re right, it is hard not having any other human with me on a continual basis for such a long trip.  I am seeing some people in more than one place and that helps but it is a lot of saying hello and goodbye again and again and when there is a problem while traveling from place to place, I have had to find ways to deal with it on my own. At the same time, it can be lonely when you do so much traveling by yourself.  It is probably one of the hardest things about this trip.”

“Do you have any advice for someone traveling in the ministry on their own?” 

“Oh yes!  Have a few people back home who you can really talk to, be deeply honest with and trust, and who are encouraging and loving.  Make sure they are people who will respond to you when you contact them and that they will be with you when you need to vent or share your frustrations and joys, people who will let you know you are heard and loved.  This is what has helped me the most, those friends who help ground me and let me know someone is listening.

"Also, if possible, spend time with people you already know from other places.  While here, I have had the delight of getting to know better people I have traveled with in Kenya and spoken to in the U.S.  Some of these people I am seeing more than once and that helps as well.  They have been those I ask for feedback on my talks and who I rely on for help and companionship while here.  In fact, there are not many times on this trip when I am not with someone I have already known or at least met.”

“How about any other advice for people traveling in the ministry in general?”

“I would tell them to keep investing their time in relationship with you.  Nearly every morning, I read a portion of the Bible and think about what sticks out to me from what I’ve read.  We also talk throughout the day and it is your strength I rely on when I don’t think I can go any further.  There have been times I have been exhausted with aching legs and back, simply concentrating on putting one foot in front of another, and I feel you pick me up into your arms and carry me where I need to go.  Having additional reading to feed me has been very helpful in learning about you.  My pastor gave me a book to deliver to someone she knows in England and suggested I read it myself before giving it away, and my spiritual director gave me the Sunday Missal with reading and reflections from the mass while I’m gone.  Spending all this time with unprogrammed Quakers when I am used to a more structured style of church, these tools have been important. I also have been keeping a journal, not even necessarily about the trip, just things I need to talk out with you.”

“What have you been learning spiritually?”

“A huge lesson came yesterday as I was standing in line for the Louvre Museum.  This is usually a line people try to avoid but it turned out to be one of my favorite moments in the whole day.  My ipod was playing a song I used to sing in youth group when I was in high school, a song I love, and I was reading the book Peggy gave me to deliver.  What the author says has given me a lot to think about, and really, would be a whole blog post in itself, but in this interview, I’ll say it has taught me a new level of freedom living in your world, in your love.  Instead of trying to learn how to do things better, I’ve been learning to live and love and be.  I also learned that the sight seeing, the exploration and expanding of my mind and perspectives is also part of my work as a traveling minister.  Realizing that made my time looking around a lot less stressful, more joy-filled, and more relaxed.  I also learned if you are standing in line trying not to cry for the Truth of it all, people are too busy taking pictures of the building to notice.”

“What are you really glad you brought with you?”

"There are a few things I usually bring with me when I travel such as my watch, alarm clock, and Rick Steves backpack.  However, there are a few things that have come with me for the first time that have made a world of difference.  One of these is my ipod.  I usually only listen to it on the long distance trains, when I’m alone, or waiting in a line.  It is what gives me familiar sounds and feelings in a foreign land—a comfort object. 

"In the last few days as I was preparing to leave, a few of my friends gave me small gifts to take along.  My spiritual director gave me the Sunday Missal, as I’ve already said, another friend knitted me hand warmers and yet another gave me a pair of gloves.  One friend gave me a pair of earrings I never have to take out and one gave me a blank journal.  Two of the necklaces I brought are also gifts I’ve been given in the past along with a fuzzy pair of purple socks for comfort. One friend gave me a massage the day before I left and that has stayed with me too.  With these items as constant reminders, I feel the love of my friends all around me, buoying me up as I’ve walked this journey.  They are like warm hands placed on my heart.”

“Tell us about the talks you have been giving.”

“So far, I have spoken about Spirit Rising at Watford (UK) Meeting, The Hague Meeting, and at the Friends House in Paris.  In Watford I also spoke to the youth about Freedom Friends Church and evangelical Quakerism in my area, and in Switzerland I spoke about my passion for writing and about being honest with your readers.  My next talk is speaking on a poetry panel tonight at the Quakers Uniting in Publications Conference in Birmingham, England.  All these talks have gone well and people really enjoy hearing about Spirit Rising and my experiences as a writer.  Giving these talks have been my favorite part of the whole trip!  I usually start out by telling people about the book, how it came about, and our process of putting it together.  I then read a few pieces aloud, always including the poem describing the process of our editorial board working together cross-culturally, The Journey Worth Taking, and the story, Phish Food.  I read Phish Food because it can always make an audience laugh.” 

“You’ve been very busy.  When do you breathe?”

"On the trains.  I breathe and relax on the trains and they have quickly become hours I look forward to.  I work on my writing, look out the window, read a book, or just listen to my ipod.  I also have the sense when I am on a train that you are bringing me to the next place you want me to be, that this is your itinerary.  Like a sower of seed, I walk through fields scattering your love and the deepest Truth of you and when I am done, you take me to the next field.  I know I won’t see what happens to the seed, but I don’t need to.  I’m quite happy to be the one scattering them about and then stepping onto the train to head to the next field.  I am hoping there will be a trail of flowers and life I leave behind.”

“Do you miss home?”

“No.  I miss that face-to-face time with people I love, and I miss meaningful touch but that is it.  I am in Europe and my mind is here, my thoughts are here. I am living in this moment, this time and place.  This is the work I am given to do.”

And so I walk the world, praying the message God has given me is somehow communicated to wherever I am sent. I am heading to London for a few hours to tour Friends House and see friends who work there and then I’m taking a train north to Birmingham for the Quakers Uniting in Publications Conference.  I’m looking forward to the writing workshops and specified writing time.  I also hear the grounds are beautiful.  It should be a rich time.