PART IV: Individual Glimpses

Eliza Foulke’s Talk, Adult First Day School

Seventh of Fourth Month 1963

When John Baer phoned and invited me to participate in the sharing of ideas on “The Meaning of Life”, I accepted because I know I very much wanted to find words for some of my experiences. Right words do not come easily – I have tried. I know I am with friends who will help me with questions and particularly with comments. Unfortunately I was unable to attend the most recent sessions of the class. I have read Dick's paper with interest and sympathy. Dick and I were in a study-worship group together last summer and our thinking then and now, I believe, is much alike but perhaps our approach is somewhat different.

In that study – worship group we discussed the question of whether or not the Religious Society of Friends had a message for today's troubled world. This question had been much on my mind – How do Quakers interpret – by word and deed – The Christian message for today? The lack of acceptance of individual responsibility, prevalent among many people – not excluding the Quakers – troubles me. If we, Quakers, have anything to say, let's say it – individually and collectively. Perhaps we have lost the vision of earlier Quakers; perhaps we are without courage; perhaps our voice is so weak and our testimonies so watered down that it is useless for us to attempt to be heard above the busyness, the confusion in our everyday world? Perhaps, we are a group with a fine history but no future and because of lack of vitality we shall disappear gradually or rather rapidly in the present.

You know I do not believe anything of the kind! Our Light may be rather flickering from lack of steady use and we may stumble feebly from inertia and apathy and comfortable living – it’s true. However, we have access to more Light, we can become strong and stronger – if we develop our God-given possibilities.

In short, I believe that the Religious Society of Friends has a place in God's great plan – now – today.

What is it that keeps us from being on fire and from kindling others? Can it be a lack of understanding of the very subject under discussion here for the past six months? That is, do we fail to understand, to know, the meaning in life?

I am sure that all of us at some time in our lives may have cried out in our distress, “O God, what is the meaning in my life?” We felt we were hitting our heads against a stone wall and nothing gave. We have pulled ourselves together and carried on – How and Why? We have been pretty low. What made us want to go on and gave us courage to pick up and start a new?

Several summers ago, some of us listened to Dr. Bauman as he conducted a class on the Old Testament on television. One morning a student asked him to explain the meaning in life. Dr. Bauman’s answer to the young man was – we find meaning in life as we develop our relationship with God. That answer is thrilling – if we accept it as truth. We find meaning in life as we develop our relationship with our Creator. Note the two words (1) develop, (2) relationship. Dr. Bauman did not say that we would find meaning in life when we understood God! No – to develop relationship with our Creator is quite a different matter. Personally, I do not want to understand God. That would make Him small – too small. I want Him as He is to me, far beyond my human comprehension, a mystery, a Divine Spirit, the Creator of the Universe, stern and unswerving in His Divine Purpose, I do not understand but I am learning from experience that – I do live and move and have my being in Him, and thus – I am loved, guided, and cared for by Him. It is the development, the growth of our relationship to our Creator that gives meaning in life – from which comes Faith and Courage.

It is a relationship that develops. It is never a gift, handed to us for the asking. We acquire it as we go along through our days, doing the best we know – with patience and with hope. We do not learn to walk by sitting and watching those who can walk. An example helps but we can do only by doing – by getting up and going on each time we fall. We do not learn to know God by reading about Him, nor by listening to others tell of their experiences. As in walking, an example is an aid. Other persons’ experiences are crutches and a help, but to know God we must experience Him directly and this, we profess, is possible in the quiet – as we wait upon Him. Difficult? Yes, but frequently we make it difficult because we search so frantically for the Presence – that is in reality all around us. We need to accept that which is here and not seek afar for a dim and distant God. As we learn to accept guidance, more Light is forthcoming and we become conscious of direction and power that is Divine.

Never let us fool ourselves into thinking that because we have attained a bit, we have arrived in our spiritual development. We may have wrestled with selfish desires and attitudes and put up a fairly good fight – then – a new test comes and we discover we are far from “arrived”. Always it is thus! And let us remember that a test – to be a test – must be difficult. That is as true in the spiritual world as in the physical. A real test calls for all we have. Would we like it otherwise? Who wants to stop growing? A most pathetic sight is a person who has stopped developing spiritually – immature, floundering, with no vision of his part in God'’ world and no will to meet His tests.

Life is a glorious, joyous adventure into the unknown. We advance bit by bit in our comprehension of its meaning, as we grow in our relationship with the Creator. Meaning in life is found, discovered, learned in the process of development. No – we never “arrive” for it is the process itself that brings satisfaction and joy.

Let us not underestimate the value of people’s influence upon each other. Our thoughts – our words – our actions may be blocks or helps to another in meeting his tests. This we all know for we can look back and see how we have been helped or hindered. Perhaps, if we are honest with ourselves, we can evaluate our attitudes towards others. Certainly here at Gwynedd, we are very conscious of each other’s needs and I am very grateful for the love of Gwynedd’s members that has carried me and influence me so deeply.

This caring for each other was an important part of the early Christian life and was carried on by the first Quakers and through later years. We believe that part of our development and our growth toward maturity depends upon our ability to love others, to care for them. However, we are mindful that each individual comes to his Creator himself – alone. Today there is much emphasis on togetherness – on the group. Yes, and the individual for responsibility. Even in religious groups – such as the Religious Society of Friends – there is a feeling that we can do better and will do work that clearly needs to be done. Among Quakers, no one can point an accusing finger and say “Why don’t you – or they – do that or this”. That is not possible for it is OUR Religious Society – my Meeting and I have personal responsibility to say my piece, to do my part, carry my share – as I find I am guided.

“I am only one but I am one” is a well known quotation. Quakers, who have carried a torch, must have said it to themselves. John Woolman must have felt lonely at times. One seldom hears of a Monthly Meeting or a Committee giving birth to a “concern”. No – the concern is born in the heart of an individual, and the Monthly Meetingmay or may not assist with the development.

This consideration of individual concern brings us very close to Jesus. We ponder on His life, His teaching, His suffering, His sacrifice and His triumph.

No growth comes without a struggle and – yet, at times – we almost seem to pray for easy lives. A favorite quotation of mine from my teens has been, “Shun not the struggle – face it. ‘Tis God’s gift.” Only recently have I realized the full significance of the words. We cannot turn away from struggle if we would develop. We can accept it as a gift from our Creator. A gift that enables our creation ever to go on and on, a gift that enables us to find meaning in life – with faith and joy.

Yearly Meeting this year, I found very exciting! Exciting may seem an odd word to use but I know no better one to describe my experience. Exciting, because, as George Fox says again and again in his Journal – “the power of the Lord was in the Meeting.” At Yearly Meeting we were moved – not by words spoken – but by fresh life – shall we say by the power of the Lord?

In the final session these three questions were asked: (1) Has God spoken to us in our sessions? (2) Did we hear Him? (3) Did we receive guidance? Upon each of us was placed the responsibility of answering for himself – to say for himself, if he would, “Here I am, Lord – send me”.

Gwynedd is one of the 92 monthly Meetings that comprise the Yearly Meeting – one of the larger Monthly Meetings. Is the power of the Lord in our meetings for worship and for business? Each member of the group has his personal responsibility to be open – to receive and accept – to answer.

For us, as individuals, as a group – meaning in life is found as creation continues, as we develop spiritually, part of God’s Divine Purpose.

Struggle is God's gift to us. When we accept it as a gift from Him, life is full of meaning and is joyous.

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