{"id":3122439,"date":"2024-01-01T01:50:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-01T06:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/kuleta-hatia-yetu-kwenye-nuru\/"},"modified":"2025-10-12T03:04:30","modified_gmt":"2025-10-12T07:04:30","slug":"kuleta-hatia-yetu-kwenye-nuru","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/sw\/kuleta-hatia-yetu-kwenye-nuru\/","title":{"rendered":"Kuleta Hatia Yetu kwenye Nuru"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Kukiri Madhara Tuliyoyapata<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

Kama daktari wa magonjwa ya akili, niliwahi kufanya kazi na mwanamume mmoja ambaye, baada ya miaka kadhaa ya vikwazo vibaya, alipata fursa ya kuhamia Texas (ambako ana usaidizi wa familia) na kuanza upya. Hivi karibuni aliachwa na alionekana kupotea sana. Huenda alitarajia daktari wake wa magonjwa ya akili aonyeshe upumbavu wa \u201ckukimbia matatizo yake,\u201d lakini nilifurahi kikweli kwa ajili yake, na nikamwambia hivyo. Mpango wake ulikuwa kutembelea Siku ya Shukrani, kutafuta makazi na kuhisi eneo hilo. Familia yake ilimwalika kwenda kanisani pamoja nao; alisitasita, lakini walisisitiza. Katika ibada ya kanisa mteja wangu alitambulishwa kwa washiriki wa kutaniko ambao walimwekea mikono na kumwombea. ”Mara ya mwisho kunitokea ilikuwa katika tiba ya uongofu,” alisema. Kisha akaniambia aliamua kutohamia Texas hata hivyo. <\/p>\n\n

Muda mfupi baada ya kipindi hicho, nilipata filamu ya hali halisi ya Netflix kuhusu tiba ya watu kubadilika, ambayo kimsingi ni aina ya mateso ambayo watoto wa kipaji wanaambiwa Mungu atawakubali ikiwa watajikana wao ni nani. Vibaraka wa vuguvugu hilo walikuwa ni mashoga ambao walidai kuwa wameponywa ugonjwa wao, kisha wakafanya dhamira yao kuwafikia na kueneza habari. Walipiga mzunguko wa kipindi cha mazungumzo, wakiwaambia watu kama Phil Donahue mambo kama vile: ”Na niangalie sasa! Nina binti, pamoja na mke wangu, ambaye alikuwa msagaji!” <\/p>\n\n

Documentary inaonyesha wapi baadhi ya viongozi hao waliishia. Sasa wao ni mashoga waziwazi, wanaishi maisha ya kweli, na wako katika uhusiano mzuri wa kimapenzi. Hata hivyo, wao pia hubeba aibu kuhusu madhara waliyoyasababishia wanachama wa jumuiya yao ya kitambo siku za nyuma. Mmoja wao alisema alikuwa ameulizwa katika maandamano ya matibabu ya kubadilika, ”Unajisikiaje kuhusu damu kwenye mikono yako?” Alijibu: \u201cNinaogopa hata kutazama chini mikono yangu.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

Ni imani yangu kwamba ujasiri wa kukiri madhara ambayo tumesababisha ndiyo inaweza kuokoa aina zetu.<\/p>\n\n

Nuru ilichukua muda kunikumbusha mimi ni nani siku niliyozaliwa; ambaye bado nilikuwa katika kiini changu; na nitakuwa nani siku zote: sehemu ya nuru yenyewe, atomi kutoka kwa nyota za zamani, maada na nishati ambayo inaweza kufuatiliwa nyuma na uzi mmoja unaoendelea hadi asili ya ulimwengu. Nuru hii, asili yangu, haiwezi kuharibiwa au kuharibiwa. Wala yako haiwezi. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Nilikuwa na bahati ya kumaliza mafunzo yangu ya ukaaji wa magonjwa ya akili katika Chuo Kikuu cha Columbia, ambapo Robert Spitzer wakati huo alikuwa profesa aliyestaafu. Alikuwa mtaalamu wa mambo ya ajabu ambaye alikuja na wazo kwamba tunaweza kutafuta njia ya kuainisha na kutambua matatizo ya akili kwa utaratibu, njia ya kawaida, ambayo inaweza kuigwa kutoka kwa daktari mmoja hadi mwingine kwa kiwango fulani cha uhalali. Spitzer alijua kuwa hii ndiyo njia pekee ya kiakili ya kujihalalisha na kujinasua kutoka kwa taswira yake isiyo ya kawaida. Kwa hivyo aliandika kitabu kiitwacho Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders<\/em> , kinachojulikana kama DSM. Yeye na wenzake walifanya uamuzi wa kuongeza ”ushoga” kwenye mwongozo, na hivyo kuainisha kama ugonjwa wa akili. Ikiwa kitu ni ugonjwa, basi unaweza kutambuliwa, kutibiwa, na kuponywa. Wazalendo wa Kikristo walikimbia na hilo, bila shaka. <\/p>\n\n

Ushoga hatimaye uliondolewa DSM katika 2013. Muhimu zaidi, miaka michache kabla ya kifo chake, Spitzer aliandika barua ya umma (iliyofunikwa katika New York Times<\/em> na wengine) ambayo aliomba msamaha kwa jumuiya ya LGBTQ kwa ajili ya utafiti wake wa kufanya madai ambayo hayajathibitishwa ya ufanisi wa tiba ya kurekebisha. Ilikuwa ni hatua iliyoshtua wengi, kwani maprofesa mashuhuri wa Ligi ya Ivy hawajulikani kwa unyenyekevu wao hadharani. <\/p>\n\n

Ndivyo ilivyo kwa waganga wengine wengi, hata wengine ambao wameumiza zaidi kuliko ambavyo Hippocrates angeweza kuwazia alipoandika sheria yake ya kwanza. Sote bado tunamngoja Richard Sackler, kwa mfano, kuona tone moja la damu mikononi mwake kwa jukumu lake katika kuunda janga la opioid, ambalo limechukua au kuharibu maisha zaidi ya milioni tatu nchini Marekani. <\/p>\n\n

Ukweli kwamba Sackler hajawajibishwa hadharani kwa matendo yake unaweza au usiseme lolote kuhusu ubora wake wa kulala usiku. Anaweza kukosa uwezo wa huruma kwa njia sawa na mtoto mchanga anakosa uwezo wa kutembea. Bila shaka, watoto wachanga, ikiwa wanalelewa, wanaweza kujifunza. Lakini wanajifunza kwa kuanguka, na kisha kurekebisha; hawajifunzi kwa kuchagua kupuuza makosa. <\/p>\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Picha na Merri J kwenye Unsplash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

Mimi pia ni daktari ambaye amebobea katika makosa. Na mengi ya yale niliyojifunza kutoka kwao, nilijifunza katika kupona. Watu walio na matatizo ya matumizi ya madawa ya kulevya mara nyingi huzungumza kuhusu ”kugonga mwamba” wakati walipofungua macho yao kwa uharibifu ambao wamefanya. Hakuna kitu cha kupendeza kuhusu uzoefu huu. Lakini leo, ninahisi kushukuru kwamba mwamba ulikuwa hapo ili kunishika. lami ilikuwa pale kunikumbusha ningeweza kusimama. Mifupa yangu iliacha mpasuko ndani yake ili mwanga uingie ndani. Nuru hiyo kwanza ilinipa ujasiri, kisha ikanionyesha damu kwenye mikono yangu. <\/p>\n\n

Mwamba wa chini: wewe, pia, ulikuwa zawadi kwangu. (Ilinichukua miaka kuelewa.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n

Rock bottom: zawadi ya farasi farasi, mdomo kufunikwa na wrapping sherehe: Sitapenda princess-na-pea-na-pea kitu chochote kinachonipata.<\/em><\/p>\n\n

Hivi majuzi nilisoma riwaya ya Kurt Vonnegut Bluebeard.<\/em> Inamhusu Rabo Karabekian, msanii wa Kiarmenia wa Marekani ambaye angeweza kuchora na kuchora matukio tata kwa usahihi wa savant. Lakini kwa sababu walimu wake wa mapema walikuwa wamemwambia kazi yake ”ilikosa roho,” badala yake alijijengea jina katika ulimwengu wa sanaa kwa uchoraji wa kujieleza uliosifiwa sana, uliodhihirika na Vonnegut kwani paneli kubwa zilichorwa rangi moja. Kwa njia hii, aliweza kuchora na ”nafsi” kwa kufikiria kila pigo la rangi kama bomba la neon, na hadithi yake mwenyewe. Hata hivyo, kwa kusikitisha, kwa sababu ya rangi yenye kasoro ambayo alitumia, kazi yake ilitoweka baada ya kipindi cha miaka. Msanii anakuja kuelewa roho ya mwanadamu kama mirija ya neon ya mwanga ndani ya kila mmoja wetu; kinyume chake, rangi dhaifu na yenye kikomo inayozunguka kiini chetu ni ”nyama”. Karabekian anamweleza rafiki yake: <\/p>\n\n

\n

\u201cKwa hiyo watu ninaowapenda wanapofanya jambo baya,\u201d nilisema, \u201cmimi huwachukia tu na kuwasamehe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c Flense<\/em> ?\u201d Alisema. ”Flense ni nini?” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHivi ndivyo wavuvi wa nyangumi walikuwa wakifanya kwa mizoga ya nyangumi walipoipanda,\u201d nilisema. ”Walikuwa wakivua ngozi na manyoya na nyama hadi kwenye kiunzi cha mifupa. Ninafanya hivyo kichwani mwangu kwa watu – kuondoa nyama yote ili nisione chochote isipokuwa roho zao. Kisha ninawasamehe.” <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

Ili kurahisisha sana anatomia kwa madhumuni ya mazungumzo ya kiroho, kuna safu moja kati ya roho na nyama iliyochanganyika: ni damu. Hasa, damu kwenye mikono ya mtu, baada ya kuletwa kwenye nuru na nuru-mwanga huo huo unaotupa ujasiri wa kutazama marudio yote ya makosa yetu, ili tuweze kujifunza jinsi ya kutembea. <\/p>\n\n

Quakers ni kama wachinjaji wa kiroho, wanaokimbilia kutafuta Nuru ya Ndani ndani ya hata wale ambao wamefanya madhara mabaya. Tunaweza kumuenzi Richard Sackler kwa kiwango cha chini kabisa. Tunaweza kujikunja katika giza letu. <\/p>\n\n

Kama mimi, mponyaji aliyejeruhiwa na mtafutaji wa kiroho, nuru kupitia barabara iliyopasuka ilichukua muda kunikumbusha mimi ni nani siku niliyozaliwa (tamu, safi, asiye na hatia); ambaye bado nilikuwa kwenye msingi wangu (mikono yenye damu na yote); na nitakuwa nani siku zote: sehemu ya nuru yenyewe, atomi kutoka kwa nyota za zamani, maada na nishati ambayo inaweza kufuatiliwa nyuma na uzi mmoja unaoendelea hadi asili ya ulimwengu. Nuru hii, asili yangu, haiwezi kuharibiwa au kuharibiwa. Wala yako haiwezi. <\/p>\n\n

Aibu huangaza mwisho mmoja; basi nuru inaweza kupita ndani yangu. Ninaipitisha kushoto kwa kushiriki hadithi yangu. Mgeni usiku, ikiwa hujui wewe ni nani tena, angalia juu. Nuru itakupata na kukukumbusha\u2014bila kujali ulifanya nini. Kadiri unavyoweza kusikiliza, nyota zitameta na habari za miujiza. Kwa kweli wewe ni sehemu ya nuru, na, wa ajabu vilevile, wewe ni sehemu ndogo tu. Ukweli huu upo kwa wakati mmoja. Huwezi kufahamu kwamba wewe ni sehemu ya nuru hadi uweze kufahamu kwamba kila mtu yuko\u2014ndiyo, kila mtu. <\/p>\n\n

Angalia juu; sikiliza. Angalia ndani; sikia. Wewe na mimi na hata wao, naona wazi sana: sisi ni upendo na mwanga yenyewe. Mara tu tunaweza kuona hii, tunakuwa vioo. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Nina orodha inayoongezeka ya watu ambao ninadaiwa kuwarekebisha, na kwa kuwa wengi wao hawapo tena katika maisha yangu, lazima wawe wamerekebisha maisha, kwani ninajaribu kila siku kuishi maisha ya fadhili na ya ujasiri ambayo yanaheshimu nuru ya Kimungu katika kila kiumbe. Badala ya kulalia mikono yangu juu ya mtu mwingine kwa jina la Mungu, au la \u201cuponyaji,\u201d na niendelee kuwa na ujasiri wa kutazama chini yangu mwenyewe: kujifunza kutokana na madoa yoyote ya damu ninayoweza kupata hapo, na badala yake nitumie mikono yangu kumwinua mtu mwingine juu. <\/p>\n\n

Nuru iko ndani yako; nuru iko ndani yangu. Ninaona damu mikononi mwako; Naona mwanga pia. Ninaona mambo haya kwa wakati mmoja. Hii naita upendo. James Baldwin alisema hivi wakati mmoja: \u201cKadiri ninavyoishi, ndivyo ninavyojifunza kwa undani zaidi kwamba upendo\u2014iwe tunauita urafiki au familia au mahaba\u2014ni kazi ya kuakisi na kukuza nuru ya kila mmoja wetu.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

Angalia juu; sikiliza. Angalia ndani; sikia. Wewe na mimi na hata wao, naona wazi sana: sisi ni upendo na mwanga yenyewe. Mara tu tunaweza kuona hii, tunakuwa vioo. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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