{"id":3130288,"date":"2020-06-01T02:00:07","date_gmt":"2020-06-01T06:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/lotus\/"},"modified":"2020-06-01T02:00:07","modified_gmt":"2020-06-01T06:00:07","slug":"lotus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/sw\/lotus\/","title":{"rendered":"Lotus"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
{%CAPTION%}<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ninaweza<\/span> kutambua kila mtu katika familia yangu kwa sauti ya nyayo zao. Ndugu yangu mdogo anakanyaga bila mpangilio; mama yangu ana hatua ya haraka na ya kupendeza, isipokuwa ni baada ya saa tisa jioni na vyombo vimemchosha. Baba yangu hutembea polepole zaidi\u2014kana kwamba anapanda tikitimaji kwa kila hatua. Lakini usiku huo, alishuka ngazi polepole kuliko kawaida. Hivyo ndivyo nilivyojua kuwa kuna kitu kibaya. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mama yake alikuwa mgonjwa. Alikuwa amekaa kwa muda, lakini hii ilikuwa tofauti. Kwa mara ya kwanza baada ya muda mrefu, alihisi anahitaji kuwa huko. Baba yangu alipaswa kuchukua ndege ya kwanza kutoka New York hadi Delhi. Alikuwa bado hajafa, lakini ilikuwa ni suala la mafuta ya ndege ikiwa angeweza kumuona kabla hajafa. <\/span><\/p>\n

Safari ya ndege lazima ilihisi kama toharani, tu kwa misukosuko, alipopambana na woga wake na kukandamiza wasiwasi wake katika nafasi kati ya sehemu hizo mbili za kuwekea mikono\u2014moyo wake mzito, kama nanga ya ardhi. Kifo ni kama wimbi\u2014kinakuja polepole, lakini hakuna kinachoweza kukizuia. Alipotua, alikuwa amechelewa. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wazazi wangu waliamua kumngoja baba yangu arudi kabla ya kunieleza mimi na kaka yangu kuhusu kifo hicho. Bila wao kujua, tayari nilikuwa nimeona maandishi kwenye iPhone ya mama yangu kutoka kwa binamu wa mbali akitoa rambirambi zake. Niliweka ugunduzi huo kwangu. sijui kwanini. Ni ajabu kuwa na umri wa miaka 11, umewekwa kwenye pipa la utoto, ukianguka katika ujana, unategemea matakwa ya watu wazima ambao wanajua zaidi kuliko wewe. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>M<\/span> y mama na baba huzungumza kuhusu wazazi wao katika uzee wao\u2014jinsi inavyohisi kushuhudia uozo na kuwatazama wakirudi katika miili yao na kuegemea katika udhaifu. Zaidi ya mara moja, Baba amezungumza juu ya mtu ambaye baba yake alikuwa zamani: jinsi alivyokuwa amesimama kwa urefu, jinsi nywele zake zilivyokuwa nyeusi, jinsi sauti yake ilivyojaza chumba. Siku ambayo baba alirudi kutoka kwenye mazishi ya mama yake ndiyo siku ambayo nilielewa vizuri kile alichokuwa anazungumza. Alivaa kifo usoni. Kwa mara ya kwanza, niliona umri wake na madhara ambayo ulimwengu ulikuwa umechukua kwenye mwili wake. Mtu ambaye hapo awali alisubiri kwa saa tatu kwenye Disney World akiwa na mtoto wa miaka minne kwenye mabega yake ili kunywa chai na kifalme alionekana kana kwamba upepo unaweza kumwangusha. Alikuwa kanivali ya kukata tamaa. <\/span><\/p>\n

Alirudi akinuka manukato asiyoyajua. Kichwa chake kilinyolewa. Alivaa bangili zilizotengenezwa kwa nyuzi nyekundu na machungwa. Alionekana kuwa mwembamba, lakini ni wazi uzito haukuwa hasara yake kuu. Alichomwa na kitu kikali zaidi. Baba yangu alikuwa ameondoka na mzee akarudi mahali pake. <\/span><\/p>\n

Kifo kilikuwa kigumu kuzungumza. Baada ya masanduku kufunguliwa na zawadi kutolewa, mawazo yalimjia kaka yangu. ”Je, aliwahi kuwa bora?” ”Hapana, kwa kweli, alikufa.” \u201cOh.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Usiku huo nilipanda kitandani kwa Baba. Tulikuwa kimya kwa kile kilichohisi kama muongo na sekunde kumi. Nilijaribu kusawazisha pumzi yangu na yake. Niliwaza jinsi ya kumuuliza kuhusu kilichotokea. Hatimaye, aliniuliza ikiwa nina maswali yoyote. Nilishtuka na kutikisa kichwa\u2014ishara za kiholela ambazo hazikuwa na maana yoyote. Kulikuwa na hamu ya kusema jambo la kufariji au angalau jambo ambalo lilionyesha kukiri kidogo kwa wakati huu muhimu, lakini sikuwahi kufanya hivyo. Nilitaka kuingia pamoja naye, lakini bado sikuwa nimejifunza jinsi ninavyoweza kuogelea katika eneo hili hatarishi na lisilojulikana. Ilikuwa ni kifo cha kwanza cha mwanafamilia ambaye nimewahi kukumbana nayo. Hatuwezi kutarajia ni nani tutahisi huzuni kwa ajili yake. Nilitaka kuona rangi katika uso wa baba yangu ikirudi, ili mikunjo iliyo juu ya kichwa chake irudi, ili roho yake iweze kuyeyuka. Nilifumba macho, nikimshikilia kwenye Nuru, nikimuombea apone. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>H<\/span> mshtuko wa moyo ni elixir kwa mawazo. Mimi si mtu wa kidini, lakini mara nyingi nahitaji faraja. Sasa, ninawaza bibi yangu\u2014upana wa anga\u2014akiutazama ulimwengu na mimi. Usiku huo, nilisali kwake. Kwa sababu ya ”mabadiliko” yake ya hivi majuzi, nilifikiri angekuwa na njia ya kurekebisha moyo wa Baba. Kama mimi, nilijifunza kuwa moyo uliovunjika hutoa nyufa kwa Nuru kuangaza. Hiyo ndiyo imani yangu. <\/span><\/p>\n

Siku iliyofuata ilikuwa Jumatatu asubuhi ya kijivu-dhahabu. Jua liliwaka bila joto lolote. Kama vile kila asubuhi kabla ya siku hiyo, Baba alinitengenezea mayai mawili, kikombe cha chai, na kunipeleka kwenye kituo cha basi. Tulisikiliza <\/span>Almanac ya Mwandishi<\/span><\/i> kwenye redio ya gari huku tukisubiri. Shairi la leo lilikuwa la Robert Hayden*: <\/span><\/p>\n

Jumapili pia baba yangu aliamka mapema
\n<\/span>na kuvaa nguo zake kwenye baridi nyeusi,
\n<\/span>kisha kwa mikono iliyopasuka ambayo iliuma
\n<\/span>kutoka kwa leba katika hali ya hewa ya siku ya juma iliyofanywa
\n<\/span>moto wa benki unawaka. Hakuna aliyewahi kumshukuru.  <\/span><\/p>\n

Ningeamka na kusikia baridi ikikatika, ikivunjika.
\n<\/span>Wakati vyumba vilikuwa na joto, aliita,
\n<\/span>na polepole ningeinuka na kuvaa,
\n<\/span>wakiogopa hasira ya kudumu ya nyumba ile, <\/span><\/p>\n

Kuzungumza naye bila kujali,
\n<\/span> ambaye alikuwa amefukuza baridi
\n<\/span> na kung’arisha viatu vyangu vizuri pia.
\n<\/span> Nilijua nini, nilijua nini
\n<\/span> ya ofisi kali na za upweke za mapenzi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Basi hilo lilikuja saa 7:26 asubuhi likiwa na taa zake nyekundu zinazowaka, onyo kwa magari. Onyo hili linaisha mara nitakapoketi. Lakini ni nini kinaisha bila onyo? Tendo la kuishi ni tendo la kutembea katika njia ya kifo. Tunawezaje kukamata sifa za mwisho za maisha? Panda lotus kwa kila hatua unayochukua. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

* ”Hizo Jumapili za Majira ya baridi” ilichapishwa tena kutoka kwa<\/span>
\n Mashairi Yaliyokusanywa ya Robert Hayden<\/span>
\n<\/i> na Robert Hayden (c) 1966 na Robert Hayden. Imetumika kwa idhini ya Liveright Publishing Corporation, kitengo cha WW Norton & Company, Inc. Haki zote zimehifadhiwa. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kijana anapitia eneo lisilojulikana la kifo cha familia yake ya kwanza.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5090,"featured_media":3083400,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9917],"tags":[12769,10921,16153,11171,11368,10914,14004,11690,21792,21793],"fpb_issue_category":[10268],"class_list":["post-3130288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sifa-za-mtandaoni","tag-gari","tag-jambo","tag-kampuni-ya-norton","tag-moyo","tag-mstari","tag-mtu","tag-new-york","tag-nyumba","tag-robert-hayden","tag-ulimwengu-wa-disney","fpb_issue_category-uanachama-na-marafiki"],"yoast_head":"\nLotus - Friends Journal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/sw\/lotus\/\" \/>\n<meta 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