{"id":3131678,"date":"2020-01-01T02:45:34","date_gmt":"2020-01-01T07:45:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/liturujia-yangu\/"},"modified":"2020-01-01T02:45:34","modified_gmt":"2020-01-01T07:45:34","slug":"liturujia-yangu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/sw\/liturujia-yangu\/","title":{"rendered":"Liturujia Yangu"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Ninajua<\/span> mengi kuhusu liturujia. Pia najua jambo au mawili kuhusu kungoja. Ninajua kuhusu ukimya na giza, na ninajua kuhusu kutembea katika Nuru. Uzoefu wangu wa utotoni wa liturujia ulikuwa wa kuvutia jinsi ulivyotabirika. Kila Jumapili katika kanisa dogo la Kilutheri huko Flint, Michigan, tulikariri maneno na mashairi na tabia za jumuiya ya watu waaminifu ambao walijua walikuwa sahihi kuhusu mambo. Nilipobalehe, nilianza kujiuliza ikiwa mambo hayo yalikuwa sawa au la. Ingawa Mungu anaweza asibadilishwe kirahisi, liturujia ni karibu haiwezekani kutoka kwa ufahamu wa mtu. <\/span><\/p>\n

Liturujia ya Kilutheri ingenijia katika nyakati zisizo za kawaida, aina ya upotovu wa utambuzi uliopachikwa, ambao ulitofautiana na uasi na machafuko niliyochagua kupinga uongo wa ufufuo na haki. Na ingawa miungu na mashetani wa ulimwengu walikuwa wametupwa kwenye lundo la takataka la utoto wangu, kivutio kama cha kitoto kwa neema ya kuokoa ya kurudia-rudia na kukengeushwa kikaning’inia shingoni mwangu. Nilianza kunywa kiliturujia, na kupigana na f\u2014 kiliturujia. Nilijikuta nikiungua ndani ya ziwa la moto lililowashwa na ndimi za moto, nikiweka vipande vya antena vya inchi sita nilivyokuwa nikivuta moshi. <\/span><\/p>\n

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Kokeni<\/span> na unywaji pombe huzalisha ibada zao wenyewe. Kuamka na kukariri ahadi za imani: kwanza, kwamba sitatumia leo, na pili, kwamba nitapiga teke kesho. Kuishi katika ghorofa ya chini iliyotelekezwa ya duplex ya Detroit iliyoharibiwa na maji, mke wangu aliamka kwenda kazini kila siku; watoto wangu walienda kulelea watoto; na nikaanza kazi. Ningejiambia nahitaji kula, kisha ningetembea juu hadi kwenye chumba cha nyuma ambapo mkazi wa mwisho alikuwa ameacha milima ya <\/span>Kiwango cha chini<\/span><\/i> magazeti. Kila moja ya kurasa hizo zilizofungwa iliwakilisha senti kumi kuelekea zaka yangu kwa miungu ya Gehena. <\/span><\/p>\n

Liturujia yangu ilitoka kwa kuahidi kuacha kesho na kula leo hadi kuandaa maswala ya<\/span>
\n Downbeat.<\/span>
\n<\/i> katika vikundi nadhifu vya watu kumi hadi nilipokusanya vya kutosha kupata $20 kutoka kwa duka la vitabu lililotumika kwenye Cass Avenue. Kufuatia mauzo hayo yaliyofaulu, ningeburudisha wazo la kuvuka barabara hadi kwa Alvin’s Delicatessen kabla ya kufutilia mbali wazo la chakula cha mchana kidesturi hadi nitembee umbali wa tatu mashariki hadi kwenye nyumba ya crack kwenye Palmer na Brush. Ningefanya ununuzi huo, ikifuatwa na kununua vodka, gari la nyumbani, na kisha dakika 20 za Valhalla na kufuatiwa na liturujia isiyoisha ya aibu na hatia. Ndani ya saa moja, kila kitu kiliharibika, na ningerudishwa nje ya mlango kadiri ningeweza kurudishwa barabarani, tayari kumnyang\u2019anya Petro kumlipa Paulo na kupata mwamba mwingine, kinywaji kingine, na kurudia mzunguko wa kuoshwa katika damu yangu mwenyewe, iliyochafuliwa na najisi. Sikuwahi kula. Niliishia mitaani. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pia niliishia katika taasisi za kiakili, kama likizo ya waraibu, huko nyuma katika miaka ya ’80 ya Gavana wa Michigan John Engler wakati huduma ya afya ya akili ya jamii ilipofanya kazi vizuri kama upepo mwanana: ilitosha tu kuwafukuza wale ambao waliamini kwamba huduma ya ustawi inaweza kushikilia ahadi ya siku mpya. Punde si punde, niliishia kulala katika duka la vifaa vya ujenzi lililotelekezwa kabla ya kuwekwa katika nyumba ya kulea watu wazima. Ilikuwa ni katika nyumba hiyo ambapo liturujia ilijifanya upya katika maisha yangu, katika kiwango kipya kabisa cha kujiumiza mara kwa mara, vurugu, na woga na chuki. <\/span><\/p>\n

Katika liturujia ile ile ya wizi na matumizi ya dawa za kulevya, kunywa Wild Irish Rose karibu na galoni, na kucheza mpira wa vikapu jirani kwa dola moja au mbili, ningepanda juu ili kusahau hali yangu kabla ya usiku wangu kukatizwa na milio ya risasi ya kiliturujia, mayowe, ubakaji, na hasira. Na kisha nikajifunza asili ya liturujia. Niliona ibada za kanisa zikifichuliwa na liturujia za hasira, ghadhabu, na kutokuwa na tumaini. Vivutio na sauti na ukweli wa ulimwengu wa mungu haukuwa wimbo wa kufariji wa kujirudiarudia. <\/span>Kyrie eleison<\/span><\/i>, nikimshukuru Mungu wa wazazi wangu na babu na nyanya yangu kwa wokovu kutoka kwa hali ngumu ya wengine. Ilikuwa ni uzoefu wangu wa kusikia mayowe, nyama ikipiga nyama, na kile kilichosikika kama kuchomwa kisu. <\/span><\/p>\n

Niliona ibada za kanisa zikifichuliwa na liturujia za hasira, ghadhabu, na kutokuwa na tumaini. Vivutio na sauti na ukweli wa ulimwengu wa mungu haukuwa wimbo wa kufariji wa kujirudiarudia. <\/span>
\n Kyrie eleison<\/span>
\n<\/i> , nikimshukuru Mungu wa wazazi wangu na babu na nyanya yangu kwa wokovu kutoka kwa hali ngumu ya wengine.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

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Labda<\/span> ilionekana tu kama mwisho. Kitu kiliisha. Labda kwa mwanamke fulani, kila kitu kiliisha. Hakukuwa na gari la wagonjwa au king’ora; hakuna kucheka, kulia; hapana ”nilikuambia hivyo” katika liturujia ya mauaji, au kile nilichowazia lazima kilikuwa mauaji. Hakukuwa na chochote zaidi ya ukimya. Nilisubiri. Nikapokea ukimya. Mungu hakuwa na la kusema wakati huo wa maisha yangu; mama-mama alikuwa ametoka tu nyumbani. Babake Ibrahimu aliishi katika vitongoji, akiacha nyuma madhabahu katika jiji lote ili watu wasiotulia waweze kutoa dhabihu katika hekalu lililoharibiwa na Weupe wa kimungu uliokuwepo kila wakati. <\/span><\/p>\n

Unywaji wa kiibada uliendelea kwa muda. Katika aina fulani ya mzaha wa ulimwengu, mjanja Mungu ambaye aliongoza magari yangu kwenye trafiki nilipokuwa nikimimina vinywaji kutoka kwenye baa yenye unyevunyevu kwenye kiti cha abiria alifanikiwa kunirudisha kanisani. Au pengine, alinivuta nyuma. Baba-mkwe wangu alikuwa na ugonjwa wa Alzheimer na katika kanisa lake la muda mrefu alielekea kwenye aina ya uwepo wa usumbufu ambao ningetaka kuwa. Hakuna mtu ambaye angemchukua licha ya tamaa yake ya wazi ya kutaka kumpendeza Mungu, hivyo ningepakia na kumpeleka kwenye ibada ya saa sita. Kwa mara nyingine tena nilisikiliza liturujia na simulizi, kuimba na maombi\u2014mara nyingi hayana maana lakini ya kuburudisha na yenye kuchochea fikira. Na baba ya mke wangu alikuwa kama burudani kama kuzimu. Yote yalifanikiwa. <\/span><\/p>\n

Bado sikuwa na uhusiano wowote na miungu au dini au imani au imani. Mtoto wa kwanza wa mke wangu alipozaliwa, binti yetu Emma, \u200b\u200bJenn aliamua kuwa anarudi kanisani. Alikuwa amekulia katika kanisa la baba yake na hakuwa na uhusiano wowote mbaya na miungu ya Uzungu na kujiona kuwa mwadilifu wa mijini. Nilishangaa kwamba angewasilisha binti yetu kwa dhana ya kutakaswa kupitia mashine ya kuosha yenye sifa za kusafisha, kama sabuni za damu ya poltergeist. <\/span><\/p>\n

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Detroit’s Engine 59 Firehouse ilikuwa jibu la kwanza kwa mioto ya jirani na matumizi ya kupita kiasi. Wakazi mara kwa mara walijikuta wakiamshwa na ving’ora. Nyumba ya mwandishi na mpiga picha iliteketea katikati ya miaka ya 1990.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

B<\/span> kwa sababu kupinga dini kunapaswa kuwa kila juhudi ya familia kama vile dini, tulikubali kuwa familia. Tulienda kwenye ibada ya Quaker. <\/span><\/p>\n

Kwanza, tulipaswa kuipata. Tuliita shirika la amani la eneo hilo ambalo lilitupa anwani ya maegesho kwenye Madison huko Grand Rapids. Sio tu kwamba kulikuwa na sehemu ya kuegesha ambapo anwani inapaswa kuwa, lakini pia hakukuwa na gari moja katika kura ya maegesho. Hakuna mtu anayengojea chochote, achilia mbali Roho, au sisi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wiki chache baadaye tulikuwa kwenye mkusanyiko wa watu kwenye nyumba ya rafiki yetu na tulikuwa tukizungumza kuhusu Waquaker ambao hawakuwapo na jitihada zetu za kuwatafuta mahali fulani. Rafiki aliongea. ”Mimi ni Quaker,” alisema, na kisha akakataa kufanya hisia ya ulimwengu ya mtu mpotovu ambaye alituongoza kwenye mbio za kijivu-Goose wiki mapema. Badala yake, alitupa mahali na wakati unaofaa wa kukutana. Tulifika kwa ibada asubuhi iliyofuata. <\/span><\/p>\n

Katika uzoefu ule wa kwanza wa kungoja, kungoja kwa ukimya, nilijua tofauti na Marafiki wengi katika mkutano ule ni nini kusubiri. Mauaji? Maisha? Hasira na ghadhabu na kutokuwa na tumaini – kile kinachofuata baada ya giza kuja. Nimewajua watu wengi sana ambao hawakuwahi kuona mwanga tena. Hawakutembea tena. Hawakupumua, kusali, kuimba, au kutafakari kile kinachofuata mtu anapoachiliwa, kwa muda wa saa moja tu, kutokana na vurugu za kiliturujia na kukata tamaa. <\/span><\/p>\n

Marafiki wengi sana huzungumza juu ya kuleta amani na kutokuwa na vurugu. Mungu ambaye sasa ninamwamini, ambaye Mungu anayejulikana katika Yesu wa Nazareti, anatuamuru tusiwe na jeuri, kuleta amani, na kusema ukweli. Nimejaribu kujifunza mengi niwezavyo kuhusu Marafiki wa zamani, wale watoto wa zamani na wa zamani wa Nuru wanaojulikana na ulimwengu kama Quakers. Walianza kama mimi. Walikuwa na mvuto begani mwao, mwelekeo wa kupinga ubabe, kusema ukweli, na uzoefu wa ghasia mbaya iliyofadhiliwa na serikali dhidi ya maskini na waliotengwa. Wengi wa marafiki hao wa mapema hawakuwa watetezi wa amani, ikiwa ni pamoja na George Fox, lakini walikuja kukumbatia uasi wakati ilionekana kana kwamba vurugu inaweza kutumika kama mashtaka dhidi yao. Wakikabiliwa na kuendelea kuteswa kwa ajili ya imani zao, na mashtaka mapya ya uhaini dhidi ya taji, Marafiki waliamua kuweka chini silaha zao za kimwili hadi Mapinduzi ya Marekani yalipokuja. <\/span><\/p>\n

Imesemekana kwamba toleo la ibada la kusubiri la Jumuiya ya Kidini lilikaribia kufifia huku ubaguzi wa Kiamerika ulipotuvuta wengi wetu nje kwenda mitaani kupigana kwa ajili ya mambo kama vile uhuru wa kuendesha masoko yetu wenyewe na kuwanyonya maskini wetu, kudumisha watumwa wetu wenyewe, na kuwaua Wahun wema na wafu katika kutetea yote ambayo Mungu anataka kwa ajili yetu. Imependekezwa na baadhi ya Marafiki na waangalizi kwamba sababu moja ya usemi wa maendeleo wa Jumuiya ya Kidini kuwepo ni kwa sababu ya waliberali wapinga vita ambao walipata mahali salama pa kuchunguza kusubiri kwa utulivu katika miaka ya 1950. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ukimya wa kiliturujia huthamini ukimya juu ya himizo lolote linalowezekana la kutenda; kuomboleza kikamilifu na kwa makusudi kupata machungu ya mauaji huku tukifanya kazi kwa niaba ya amani kwa namna ambayo itatuacha bila ulinzi. Marafiki katika ibada ya kungojea lazima washinde hamu yetu ya uthabiti na usikivu, na kutenda kwa hasira ya haki kwa kutokuwepo kwa hatua ya dhabihu na huruma pamoja na wote waliouawa na wauaji. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ukimya ukawa wa shida kwa Waamerika wengi baada ya Elvis, nadhani, na Quakers walikuwa wameamua kwa muda mrefu kwamba liturujia za Njia ya Amerika zilikuwa bora kwa ukuaji wa kanisa kuliko kungoja kuona jinsi mauaji yanavyotokea.<\/span><\/p>\n

Najua jinsi inageuka. Ninangoja kwa muda mrefu Mungu wa Ibrahimu na Sara atoe ujumbe kwamba, baada ya mauaji au utekelezaji wa serikali, mada ya ufufuo inachukua nafasi ya ghadhabu na hasira na tumaini na liturujia ya kuishi, kana kwamba ufufuo ni kweli, hata kama ni jambo lisilo la akili au bila shaka kabisa. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ni mauaji kwenye saa zetu, Marafiki, na tunaweza kuanza kusikiliza, tukingojea kusikia sauti hizo za mateso badala ya kungoja mtu azungumze katika Roho, ikitukumbusha kwamba hali yetu ya kiroho na ukimya wa kiliturujia hutokeza zaidi ya hisia ya utulivu ya kujiridhisha.<\/p><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

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Pengine<\/span> , ikiwa Jumuiya ya Kidini inatarajia kupata ufufuo wa Ukakerism unaoendelea, inaweza kuwa makini zaidi na ukweli halisi wa vurugu; kuvunjika; na kwa hakika, dhambi ya ushirikiano wetu wenyewe katika dhambi ya ushirika. Mapendeleo yamekuwa sanamu ya Marafiki wengi, nayo yanabaki kuwa ya kishetani hata wakati pendeleo hilo linaelekezwa kwenye kutokeza \u201cmatokeo chanya zaidi\u201d katika ulimwengu unaotawaliwa na mauaji. Ni mauaji kwenye saa zetu, Marafiki, na tunaweza kuanza kusikiliza, tukingojea kusikia sauti hizo za mateso badala ya kungoja mtu azungumze katika Roho, ikitukumbusha kwamba hali yetu ya kiroho na ukimya wa kiliturujia hutokeza zaidi ya hisia ya utulivu ya kujiridhisha. Baada ya yote, sisi ni wahuru tukishikilia ulimwengu katika Nuru, na huo ndio wito wetu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mauaji yatatukatiza, na hatutasubiri kupata matokeo. Tunakimbia tu, tukikataa kuwakumbatia wale waliouawa, na wanaoua. Ukimya, kwa kweli, inaweza kuwa opiate yetu. Kujihesabia haki kunaweza kuwa methamphetamine na kokeini yetu. Na gugu bora kabisa hutuweka jinsi tunavyojipenda: tumefungwa kwa liturujia ya matumaini bila matendo, na fursa ya kutoteseka. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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