{"id":3132583,"date":"2025-11-01T02:40:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-01T06:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/mizimu-yangu\/"},"modified":"2025-11-26T11:16:48","modified_gmt":"2025-11-26T16:16:48","slug":"mizimu-yangu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.friendsjournal.org\/sw\/mizimu-yangu\/","title":{"rendered":"Mizimu Yangu"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Nikiwa katika makaburi yaliyoachwa nikichuna maua yenye harufu nzuri ya maua ya mwituni, nilisikiliza waliosahaulika. Mtu fulani alinong\u2019ona, \u201cTafadhali nikumbuke; niko peke yangu.\u201d Mawazo yangu, unasema? Utakuwa umekosea. Mizimu iko kila mahali, haswa nyuma ya nyumba za mikutano za zamani za Quaker katika uwanja wa mazishi tulivu. <\/p>\n\n

Waliishi kwa ukimya walipokuwa hai, lakini wachache wanataka kuzungumza sasa. Mizimu mingi ni ya wengine, lakini nakuonya, wengine wamekuchagua. Jaribu kuwasikiliza. <\/p>\n\n

Nitaeleza jinsi ninavyojua.<\/p>\n\n

Katika mwaka wangu wa sita, nilihudhuria shule ya karne nyingi, ya Quaker ya chumba kimoja ambapo watoto walijifunza katika miaka ya 1800\u2014pengine hata mapema zaidi. Lilikuwa jumba dogo la makumbusho lililokuwa nyuma ya miti yenye kivuli ya miaka mia mbili, yenye sukari huko Germantown, mtaa wa Philadelphia ambapo nilikulia. Niliitembelea labda mara mbili. <\/p>\n\n

Sikumbuki ni lini nilienda shule kwa mara ya kwanza katika jengo hilo la kihistoria. Hata hivyo, ninakumbuka hasa kile kilichotokea wakati wa hivi majuzi nilipokuwa mtoto wa miaka sita\u2014siku nilizotangatanga kwa uhuru\u2014 nikisikiliza mizimu yangu. <\/p>\n\n

Labda ilikuwa karne iliyopita. Nimepoteza wimbo wa wakati. <\/p>\n\n

Walimu wetu wa Quaker walichagua mwanafunzi mmoja kutoka kila daraja kuhudhuria darasa katika chumba kimoja kilichokuwa na harufu ya mbao za kale, mishumaa iliyoyeyuka, na kupoteza matumaini. Sherehe ya wiki nzima ya siku za ukoloni\u2014kujifanya amini! Nilikuwa mmoja wa waliobahatika. Nikiwa nimevaa vazi refu la pamba nyeusi na kola nyororo, nyeupe, (kitambaa ambacho mama yangu alinitengenezea kwenye cherehani yake yenye madafu makubwa), nilijifanya kwa wiki moja. <\/p>\n\n

Kila kitu nilihisi kufahamika kwangu kwa mara ya kwanza katika maisha yangu ya ujana. Ilikuwa kana kwamba nilikuwa katika mavazi hayo, katika shule hiyo\u2014si mwaka huo tu. <\/p>\n\n

Siku zote nilitaka kuishi katika siku za ”zamani”. Nilizoea kuketi katika jumba la mikutano na kupeperuka kwenda kutembelea nyakati zingine, miaka mingi kabla sijazaliwa. Nyakati nilikumbuka niliposikia harufu ya ukimya na harufu ya fenicha kuukuu iliyotapakaa chumbani. <\/p>\n\n

Hata sasa nakumbuka bila kufafanua mwaka nilipokaribia siku yangu ya kuzaliwa ya themanini. Nilifikiri ningekufa upesi, kama vile nyanya yangu wa Quaker kabla yangu, nikiwa na umri wa miaka 82. Nilitumaini kupata nafasi ya kuzungumza kwenye mkutano, nikiwa mzee, ingawa nilikuwa na hakika kwamba ningeishiwa nguvu kufikia wakati huo. Kwa kuwa sikuwahi kuzungumza hapo awali, kwa nini nipewe nafasi nyingine kwa sababu tu nilikuwa mzee? <\/p>\n\n

Usijali, nilijiambia. Kaa kimya na usubiri. <\/p>\n\n

Wakati wowote nilipokanyaga mara ya mwisho katika ile nyumba ya shule ya chumba kimoja iliyokaribia kubomoka kwenye Green Street\u2014mwaka huo wa kichawi nilipokuwa bado mtoto asiye na hatia\u2014sikuwahi kupoteza hisia ya kutokuwa mahali pake: angalau katika maisha hayo. Ilikuwa vigumu hasa nilipozeeka na kuingia katika ulimwengu wa kisasa. Niligundua kuwa hakukuwa na ukimya mwingi wa kufurahiya. <\/p>\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Frank T. Merrill, 1900. Mchoro wa kitabu. Imechapishwa Mara Hadithi ya Amerika ya L. Pratt-Chadwick kwa Watoto wa Amerika<\/em> . Picha kutoka commons.wikimedia.org<\/em> . <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

Lakini bado sikuzungumza. <\/p>\n\n

Nina wakati wa kufikiria sasa. Ninahoji ni jinsi gani, nilipokuwa na umri wa miaka sita tu, niliweza kusikia sauti za watu waliokufa kwa muda mrefu? Maneno niliyoyasahau mara baada ya kuzipokea, jumbe ambazo sikukumbuka hadi hivi majuzi, nina hakika zilikuwa zawadi. <\/p>\n\n

Nilipokaa kimya, peke yangu, macho yakiwa yamefumba, na kusikiliza nikiwa mtoto, mambo ya kichawi yalitokea, si kwenye mikutano tu bali pia nilipobahatika kuachwa peke yangu. <\/p>\n\n

Baada tu ya utoto wangu, nilichaguliwa kuishi maisha ya zamani ambayo yalionekana kuwa ya kawaida. Najua ilikuwa baraka, kisha nikapuuza. Ilikuwa ni zawadi ambayo sikuhitaji kupata, mtu ambaye alinihitaji nisikilize, baraka isiyoeleweka, na nilisahau hadi ikachelewa kuitumia. <\/p>\n\n

Nikiwa nimelala hapa nikingojea kimya, siku zangu hizo za mbali zinabaki kumbukumbu nzuri, wazi kwangu kana kwamba nilikuwa bado mtoto, nikingojea kitu. Nina muda mwingi wa kusubiri, kufikiria kuhusu siku nilizokaa katika jumba la shule la zamani la chumba kimoja nikiwazia kwamba niliishi zamani: nikicheza kwenye kaburi nyuma ya jengo la kihistoria\u2014eneo pekee linalopatikana kwa mapumziko\u2014kunyata na kutoka kwenye mawe ya kichwa, nikisoma zile zilizosalia zinazosomeka, nikipitisha vidole vyangu kwenye majina yanayofifia, na kucheza kwenye ardhi yenye rutuba juu ya wafu. <\/p>\n\n

Nakumbuka nikifikiria: Mimi ni mmoja wa wale, msichana mdogo aliyezikwa chini ya udongo wa wakati, jiwe langu la kichwa lililovaliwa na hali ya hewa likizama katika kusahaulika. Katika ukimya nilioupenda nilipokuwa mtoto, nilisikia minong\u2019ono kutoka kwa wafu: \u201cMimi ni mpweke. Nasikia nini sasa katika ukimya wangu wa kudumu? Je, ni mtu niliyemjua, labda rafiki wa Quaker niliyekuwa naye karne nyingi zilizopita tulipoenda kwenye mkutano na kukumbatiana tukingoja mzee azungumze? Je, analala karibu nami chini kabisa ardhini bila jiwe la msingi kuashiria mahali pake pa mwisho? Kama mimi? Kama bibi yangu? <\/p>\n\n

Kuteleza katika ukimya, mimi kukua aliwasihi. Hilo halikutokea nilipokuwa hai. Sijui ninaenda wapi au ninasikia nini kwa sababu nina shida kukumbuka. <\/p>\n\n

Wasiwasi pekee nilionao ni hili: ikiwa sitapata nafasi nyingine ya kuishi kama Rafiki\u2014katika ukimya nilipokuwa mtoto\u2014kuzuru jumba la mikutano nililopenda nilipokuwa mdogo, kunusa mishumaa ya kale na mbao kuu za zamani, je, kuna mtu yeyote atanitembelea ninapolala kaburini mwangu? <\/p>\n\n

Je, kuna yeyote atakayesikiliza ninachopokea? Niko tayari kuongea. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nani atazungumza kwa ajili ya wafu wasio na alama?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5090,"featured_media":3132386,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9822],"tags":[],"fpb_issue_category":[25267],"class_list":["post-3132583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vipengele","fpb_issue_category-fiction"],"yoast_head":"\nMizimu Yangu na L. 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