News of Friends

This year we asked Quaker-affiliated students to write about competition in their lives.

Our introduction to the May issue on "Friendly Competition?"

The Quaker approach to competition has influenced my life greatly. From my experiences, I’ve learned that competition can be utilized to motivate, making it a tool, but if it is not done in the correct mindset, it can become a weapon.

There’s one big problem I notice that relates to competition, and it is caused by masculinity. It’s a problem not just in sports, but everywhere: men and boys trying to prove that they are strong or in charge.

Although I have never been someone who loves sports or competition very much, this year my parents encouraged me to try a sport, so I picked cross country. Art and music have always interested me more than sports…

I am not a perfect Quaker. My family discovered Quakerism when I was two years old. I grew up with Quaker values, went to meeting for worship every Sunday, and have gone to a Friends school for quite a while. One of my passions, though, is wrestling.

I remember the day my teachers from Wister Elementary School announced to me and two other students that we were selected for a scholarship. I was overjoyed until they continued to say that all of us wouldn’t be going.

I cried yesterday. I was sobbing: red, wet, puffy, and gross because of the academic competition I face in school every day. I don’t mean to do it, compare myself to other students, but it’s inevitable…

No one likes it, / The thing most fear, / Unpredictable, / We work hard to run away, / Hidden lessons weaved in, / Forced, / People get emotional / Some don’t even care, / Reminds us how much / We like winning…

Dum, da, da, da, rang the bell—class had started. I tensed up; did I have to go to the bathroom? I couldn’t think or acknowledge anyone, at least there was no one to talk to. My heart caught in my esophagus, and my stomach turned like a roller coaster ride.

I came home, excited after a day full of learning, to find my mother waiting for me at the door with some great news: my name had been picked from the lottery to go to the first math meet of the year! Restlessly, I awaited the day.