Always Trust in Him

I never thought that the start to my senior year of high school would include my mother being taken to the hospital for COVID-19. August 24, 2020, was the scariest day of my life. I already felt stressed and overwhelmed, not only from beginning to look at colleges, but also that initial stress of starting out a new school year. It wasn’t like the beginning of years prior. This time I had to navigate the new format of being a remote learner. School had only started a week before, so things were a little crazy in my house. It was hard for me to give my teachers 100 percent of my attention because I was constantly afraid that the next time I went to my mother’s room, she would not be breathing. COVID has affected so many people, but I never thought it would directly affect my family.

My mother and I both work at a nursing and rehabilitation center. Through this pandemic, nursing homes have been hit extremely hard. My mother is such an inspiration to me. Being a nurse, she puts herself in harm’s way every single day so she can help others. Nurses will often prioritize others before they care for themselves; and this describes my mother perfectly. She hadn’t been feeling right for many days, but she just pushed through and continued to be there for others. Eventually she just couldn’t go anymore, and that’s when we found out the most heart-wrenching news ever: she tested positive for COVID-19. Even though she was positive and she knew she needed to focus on getting better, her only concern was the safety of me!

Those next few weeks were a living nightmare. My mother fought with all of her might to stay out of the hospital; and I was there by her side every step of the way. At that point, the exposure to COVID was not my main concern; it was being with my mother. I was scared that I would lose my favorite person; and the thought of that genuinely scared me. My mother stayed at home in my care for a week until finally her body just couldn’t do it anymore. Her oxygen level had dropped to 83 percent on room air (the normal range is 95 to 100 percent). She was unable to move or do anything for herself. She was extremely short of breath and was in a very bad way. We had no choice but to call the ambulance. As I watched the paramedics take care of my mother, all kinds of thoughts and emotions were going through my head. My mother was admitted to the hospital; and I was not allowed to visit her there due to the risk of exposure. It was very hard for me to see my mother struggling and fighting for her life and not being able to help her at all. I couldn’t even hold her hand or touch her during the scariest time in her life.

I caught myself asking, “Why my mother? Why my family?” I was mad at everyone and everything. My faith was being put to the test, and I sometimes caught myself being mad at God. I soon realized that it was not the time to draw away from God but to draw even closer to Him. I knew that although this seemed like a very devastating time in my life, something good would come out of it. After my mother’s hospitalization, God showed me His glory and how this whole situation was actually a blessing for my mother and me. My mother had to take a medical leave due to the side effects of COVID-19. This leave allowed us to develop an even closer bond. She was there to assist me with my online schooling, talk to me during difficult times, and just have quality time with me that ordinarily she wouldn’t have been able to do. This time also allowed her to reflect on her own life and put things into proper perspective. Her relationship with God became stronger; and she developed a whole new outlook on life. Today she is completely recovered from COVID!