Do Quakers Pray?

By Jennifer Kavanagh. Christian Alternative Books (Quaker Quicks), 2023. 80 pages. $10.95/paperback; $5.99/eBook.

The short answer to the question Jennifer Kavanagh poses in Do Quakers Pray? is a clear “yes.” The longer answer—typical of Quakers—is, well, it depends on what you think of as prayer. Kavanagh, a British Friend writing from the point of view of the unprogrammed Liberal tradition, delves gently into what Quakers think of as prayer. Along the way, she cites her own experience and quotes a wide range of contemporary and historical Friends as well as teachers from other traditions.

Friends will find this lovely “Quaker Quick” to be both affirming and challenging—and well worth the short read. As do I and the author herself, many of her sources have a freeform spiritual practice rather than a regular daily discipline at a certain hour. I also found it affirming to find that others maintain an ongoing dialogue with an unnamed Presence. Those same affirmations, however, were also challenges. Should I try again to maintain a daily discipline? Is it important to name the Presence that I experience?

Because we Friends don’t speak much about prayer and because we are aware of a diversity of practice among Friends, we may find ourselves feeling that our personal approach to prayer is not honored, is substandard, or is out of the Quaker mainstream. Maybe it’s too traditionally Christian, we tell ourselves; too abstract and mystical; or too down-to-earth and unspiritual. Kavanagh affirms them all as valid approaches to prayer. As you read along, there will likely be stories that don’t fit your experience or belief, but then you’ll hit parts where you say, “Yes, yes, that’s me!,” and feel seen and encouraged to open your heart and deepen your practice.

Some of those she cites speak comfortably, even companionably, of God and see various forms of prayer as ways of deepening a relationship with God. She quotes Quaker and Anglican priest John Peirce’s observation that “[a]n understanding of prayer relates to our understanding of the nature of the Divine.” Alongside that she lifts up a perspective from a contributor to the Quaker Quest booklet Twelve Quakers and Prayer: “A traditional understanding of prayer sees God as separate from us.” Quoting the contributor again, Kavanagh comments, “If we see ourselves as ‘of the same substance, the same eternal spiritual essence as God,’ our understanding of prayer must change to accommodate a less dualistic view of our relationship with the Divine.”

Kavanagh’s chapter headings reveal the different perspectives she addresses: forms of prayer, kinds or purposes of prayer, spiritual practice, contemplative prayer, and life as prayer. And yet common themes flow in and around one another throughout the text: does the person embrace God as a personal companion or take a nontheistic approach? Does one find spiritual support in pre-written prayer forms and liturgy or feel uncomfortable saying words that do not come directly from the heart? What about supplication: do we send wish lists to God to take care of things for us? Is prayer a way of opening us to how we should care for things? What if we spontaneously express gratitude or need, even if we don’t know to whom we are appealing; is that prayer?

Is prayer a two-way conversation? If so, with whom or what?

Kavanagh asserts that early Friends wrote of hearing the voice of God, but she suggests, “Nowadays I think it is a rare occurrence.” Then in the ensuing sections she has multiple quotations from contemporary Friends who hear a responding voice, receive guidance, or have a wordless “knowing.” She also suggests that we Friends rarely discuss our most intimate spiritual experiences. I agree that Quakers are shy about such sharing. I have found, however, that when we create a context of trust and invitation, the most ordinary Friends share stories of conversations with an unknown other that they name as God; a guide; an angel; a deceased, beloved relative; or just a deep inner dialogue.

As for the meeting for worship, Kavanagh describes it as “wonderfully resistant to generalisation.” She also notes that Friends tend to use the words worship and prayer interchangeably with only a vague sense of how they are similar and how they are different. We speak almost not at all about adoration, but Kavanagh cites the writer Casper ter Kuile who sees adoration as “a chance to get beyond introspection, to connect with something beyond” and “the very same moment when they feel connected to something more than themselves is when they also feel more authentically true to themselves.” I’m thinking maybe that’s what we are all seeking in our own ways: to get beyond the words of prayer, beyond introspection, and to connect with that “something” beyond.

---

Patricia McBee is a member of Newtown (Pa.) Meeting. She has been a writer and teacher of Quaker process and Quaker spiritual practice since 1970. With her husband, Brad Sheeks, she lives at Pennswood Village retirement community in Newtown. She enjoys spending time with her three teenage grandchildren.