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Milestones August 2013

BentmanRaymond Bentman, 87, at home with his partner, Louis DelSoldo, on March 28, 2013, in Philadelphia, Pa., of heart failure. Ray was born in Philadelphia, the youngest of three children of Bertha and David Bentman, and grew up in an apartment above their glove store on Columbia Avenue. After graduating from Central High School in 1943, Ray was drafted into the army and spent much of the war managing a training film library in London. Later he attended Kenyon College under the G.I. Bill, majoring in classics and graduating cum laude in 1950. He earned a master’s degree in classical archeology at University of Pennsylvania, and after a year in Rome as a Fulbright Scholar in the early 1950s, he worked his way up from a mailroom job to a copywriter position at a New York advertising agency. He then earned a PhD at Yale in eighteenth‐century English literature and became an English professor at Temple University. Ray married Luba Kaufman in 1962 and raised two children, Leslie and Katy. After his 18‐year marriage ended, Ray met Louis DelSoldo and happily spent the rest of his life with him—traveling, cooking, making bread, drinking wine, and attending the opera and theater. He earned another master’s degree in counseling psychology and worked as a therapist after retiring from Temple. Influenced by his daughter’s conversion to Quakerism, he began attending Central Philadelphia (Pa.) Meeting and decided to become a member when that meeting endorsed gay marriage. He became active in Quaker Ministry To Persons With AIDS, spending four hours a week with the ill person, providing not only practical and loving support, but also a spiritual presence. At that time there was no effective treatment for AIDS, so part of the ministry was to comfort people as they died. Later in the ’90s, Ray became co‐clerk of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting’s Drug Concerns Working Group. Following a called meeting on the drug war, he and other members toured the monthly and quarterly meetings in the Philadelphia area presenting ideas for a minute in opposition to the War on Drugs. The much reworked minute enjoyed two moments of acclaim in 2000: first, at Philadelphia Yearly Meeting annual sessions, where it was approved after Ray led the discussion, and later that spring at the shadow convention of the Republican National Convention, where it was read and received a burst of applause. During his last years Ray organized the Light Group at Central Philadelphia Meeting. While participants meditated, he offered prompts based on Rex Ambler’s analysis of early Friends’ writings in Light To Live By, prompts that encouraged a state of receptivity to the Light to illuminate one’s barriers to spiritual peace, followed by journal writing and sharing. Ray’s commitment, his humility and humanity, his showing up in the worst weather even if only one other person could join in, and his calm steady voice created a space of refuge in which Friends were willing to place their troubles under a divine spotlight and open up to the truth about themselves. Ray is survived by his partner, Louis DelSoldo; his sister, Lee Levin; his daughters, Leslie Hough and Katherine Lewis; and his two grandsons.

BuschingBeverly Ann Busching, 75, on December 20, 2012, in her Santa Fe, N.M., home, of ovarian cancer. Beverly was born in Dallas, Tex., on July 6, 1937, to Bennie Warren and Daniel Grafton Bell. In 1958 she graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Stanford University with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. She earned a master’s in elementary education from Harvard and an EdD in curriculum and instruction from University of Virginia. She began attending Quaker meetings in college in Palo Alto, Calif., and continued later during graduate school in Boston. In 1960 she and her husband, Bruce Busching, were co‐directors of an American Friends Service Committee work camp on the Tule River Indian Reservation in California. Her pacifism and commitment to the tenets of Quakerism were the foundation of a lifestyle of simplicity and lifelong participation in the peace movement and other social justice movements. Beverly was a member of the Columbia (S.C.) Meeting, serving as clerk of the Ministry and Oversight committee and as clerk of the First‐Day School committee. She was a member of the Peace and Social Concerns committee and volunteered with First‐day school. She was also active in the South Carolina Christian Action Council. She taught in the College of Education at the University of South Carolina, and throughout her career she was recognized with awards and honors. She was invited to teach at international schools in Kenya, Singapore, Burma, Burkina Faso, and Sweden. In 1982, she founded the Midlands Writing Project, a collaborative program of the university and South Carolina school districts dedicated to improving the teaching of writing in elementary and secondary schools. She also worked with the National Writing Project to create a national network of local leaders who explore ways to connect schools with their communities. She published extensively, including her most recent book, It’s Our World Too: Socially Responsive Learners in Middle School Language Arts. Retiring from University of South Carolina in 2002 as a distinguished professor emerita, she moved to Santa Fe, where she continued as a consultant to teacher education programs. Joining Santa Fe Meeting, she served as clerk and as a member of the Peace and Social Concerns committee, the Future committee, and the Immigrant Alliance. She was active in the League of Women Voters of Santa Fe County, a member of the board and treasurer of the Alternatives to Violence Project of Northern New Mexico, and a member of the board of the Conservation Voters New Mexico Education Fund. She had an active mind, always finding precise words to express opinions with both kindness and strength. She also expressed herself as an accomplished painter. Her family and many friends will remember her generosity, grace, and intelligence as well as her love of books, art, music, and nature. Beverly is survived by two children, Sarah Busching and Alice Reynolds (Daniel); their father, Bruce Busching; one brother, Alan Bell (Inger); two grandchildren; one niece; one nephew; five grand‐nieces; and one grand‐nephew.

DiCoccoFrank D.B. DiCocco, 29, suddenly, on April 30, 2013, at his home on Singer Island, Fla., his favorite place on earth. Frank was born on April 13, 1984, in Waterbury, Conn. He graduated from St. Margaret’s-McTernan School (now Chase Collegiate) in Waterbury, Avon Old Farms School in Avon, Conn., and Boston College. He attended graduate school at Florida State University in Tallahassee and Winthrop University in Rock Hill, S.C. He was director of communications at Paul VI Catholic High School in Fairfax, Va., and sometimes attended Friends Meeting of Washington (D.C.). He coached football at Fessenden School in Newton, Mass.; Amos P. Godby High School in Tallahassee, Fla.; Cambridge Rindge & Latin School in Cambridge, Mass.; William T. Dwyer High School in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla.; Stillman College in Tuscaloosa, Ala.; South Pointe High School in Rock Hill, S.C.; Paul VI Catholic High School; and Avon Old Farms School. He was recently named head football coach at Westminster Catawba Christian High School in Rock Hill. Frank wrote several books, including Playbook for Manhood: A Game Plan for Being a REAL Man. He also wrote articles for Texas Coach and Gridiron Strategies magazines in Texas and Florida respectively. His books and programs are used in high school football programs across the country. He established the HOPE Foundation for a Better Tomorrow to foster athletic ability and provide underprivileged high school student athletes an opportunity for higher education. Some called him Frank, some called him coach, but all called him friend. He was a loving young man who accomplished much in a short life and left a lasting impression on all who met him. To honor him, Friends can reach out and thank all the influential people in their own lives. Frank is survived by his parents, Kathleen LaPorta DiCocco and Lou DiCocco; his sister, Nicole DiCocco; his grandmother, Nancy LaPorta; two aunts and two uncles; and five cousins. A funeral mass was held at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in Farmington, Conn. The family welcomes contributions to the HOPE Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, c/o TD Bank, 655 West Main Street, New Britain, CT 06053, Attn: Diana Pagani.

EstepPansy Mae Butler Estep, 98, on Nov. 12, 2012, in Winchester, Va. Pansy was born on January 27, 1914, in Frederick County, Va., to Nora and Kurtz W. Butler and lived all of her life in the Northwest corner of Frederick County, helping on the family farm and participating in community events. In addition to working at National Fruit Company during apple processing season for 48 years, she volunteered with the Clear Brook Fire and Rescue Auxiliary, was a lifetime member of the Ladies’ Auxiliary to the Virginia State Firefighters Association, and was active with the Old Stone Church Memorial Association. Pansy became a member of Hopewell Centre Meeting in Clear Brook, Va., on July 12, 1987, and was a quiet, steady presence at the meeting. She was the hospitality clerk for many years, opening the meeting, turning on heaters, starting the coffee, and greeting people as they arrived. She was faithful to the meeting and was always willing to lend a helping hand. She was known for her caramel cakes, which people always looked forward to finding at covered‐dish events. She was a role model for Friends, providing lessons in self‐reliance and caring. Pansy was preceded in death by her husband, Doug Estep, three brothers, and a sister. She is survived by four nieces, a nephew, and many cousins.

HolzingerCharles H. Holzinger, 91, on January 6, 2013, in Lancaster, Pa., where he was born on April 17, 1921, to Emily Rose and Charles H. Holzinger, a Protestant minister. Charlie graduated from Lancaster’s J.P. McCaskey High School in 1939 and entered Franklin & Marshall College. After Pearl Harbor he enlisted in the U.S. Army, and while he was serving in the South Pacific, he met Millicent Brott, and they married in 1946. After the war he entered graduate school without a bachelor’s degree and earned a master’s in anthropology from University of Chicago in 1949. He began teaching in Franklin & Marshall’s department of sociology and anthropology, completing course requirements and qualifying exams for the PhD in social relations at Harvard. Charlie rejected the prescribed religious doctrines of his youth, beginning to attend Lancaster Meeting in the late 1950s and joining in 1960. He led the effort to create a separate department of anthropology, and in 1965, F&M awarded him the Lindback Award for Excellence in Teaching. He also served as a visiting professor at Haverford College, Temple University, and University of North Carolina. He and Milly bought an abandoned schoolhouse in a ridge‐top grove and converted it into a home, cultivating an extensive vegetable garden and eventually an orchard. Charlie’s best‐known scholarly work was on Cherokee Indians and Lancaster County’s Plain communities. His family spent three summers on a Cherokee reservation in North Carolina while he carried out research, and he participated in local archeological digs at Susquehannock Indian sites. He was active in the Eastern States Archeological Federation, a founding member of the Northeastern Anthropological Association, and president of the Pennsylvania Sociological Society. He served on Lancaster Meeting’s Peace and Social Concerns committee for many decades, helped found the Lancaster Independent Press, and led efforts to desegregate public accommodations and housing in Lancaster, helping Lancaster to become one of the first communities in Pennsylvania to desegregate its institutions. Attending to the smallest detail of peacemaking, Charlie didn’t seek authority or positions of privilege, but encouraged others to practice peace with deference. He and Milly attended the weekly peace witness protests on the Lancaster County courthouse steps, which Milly had initiated. He also counseled Vietnam War draftees on their rights as conscientious objectors. He and Milly adopted a Vietnamese orphan and in 1975 took under their wing another Vietnamese war orphan. In 1983, he and Milly helped found the interdenominational Lancaster County Peace Essay Contest. Often called “the conscience of the College,” Charlie retired from F&M in 1986. Several former students say that he was the best professor they ever had, and one says that Charlie’s course on China had more impact on his life than any other course he ever took. Today F&M’s department of anthropology recognizes Charlie as its founder with the Charles H. Holzinger Anthropology Award. He led the creation of peace forums at Lancaster Meeting that led to the Lancaster Interchurch Peace Witness, and with Milly created a peace education curriculum for local churches’ Sunday school programs to commemorate the tenth anniversary of 9/11. In 2005, he proposed that Lancaster Meeting sponsor the AFSC installation on the human cost of war, Eyes Wide Open, and Charlie and Milly distributed a pamphlet he had written, How To Become a Peace Activist. He worked with Lancaster Theological Seminary to create the Lancaster Freedoms Committee and served on the board of directors of the Lancaster Guidance Clinic, Lancaster Mediation Center, Lancaster County Council of Churches, and Lancaster Chapter of the ACLU. Charlie was preceded in death by his wife, Millicent Brott Holzinger, and two brothers, Joseph and John Holzinger. He is survived by three daughters, Emily Hausman (Rick), Anne Holzinger, and Rebecca Holzinger; two sons, Tom Holzinger and Steve Holzinger (Donna); a foster son, Quyen Van Nguyen (Mai Huong Tran); 8 grandchildren; and Quyen’s daughter and granddaughter. Contributions in Charlie’s memory can be made to Lancaster Meeting, Franklin & Marshall College, or Friends Committee on National Legislation.

ParkeKathryn Emma Parke, 98, on May 3, 2013, at Highland Farms Retirement Community, Black Mountain, N.C., after a period of declining health. Kay was born on February 12, 1915, in Fairport, N.Y., to Emma and Howard Parke. She graduated from Fairport High School and earned a bachelor’s degree in English from Smith College, a bachelor’s in library science from the University at Albany, State University of New York, and a master’s in library science from University of Illinois at Urbana‐Champaign. After teaching high school English and providing library service to high schools and colleges for several years, in 1951 she became head librarian at State University of New York College of Agriculture and Technology at Cobleskill. For most of that time, her mother accompanied her as homemaker and hostess. She was active in the development of regional library service in western New York and in the Cobleskill Capital District. From 1958–59 she spent a sabbatical year in Scandinavia, studying the folk college movement. In 1962 Kay became a Quaker and over the years she was active in meetings, often as clerk, in Quaker Street (N.Y.) Meeting, Rochester (N.Y.) Meeting, Asheville (N.C.) Meeting, and Swannanoa Valley Meeting in Black Mountain, a meeting that she helped establish. Kay also helped to found Friends World College (now LIU Global). She represented New York Yearly Meeting at Friends World Committee for Consultation at two annual meetings in the U.S. and one triennial world meeting held in the Netherlands. At Cobleskill she sponsored sojourns of a Dutch student and a Norwegian librarian. Visiting Scandinavia several times, she extended her knowledge of folk colleges and of the Norwegian language, which she used to translate three books and many historical and educational articles. In 1973, she co‐founded the Folk Education Association of America (FEAA). For a decade she edited and translated for the FEAA journal, Option. After retiring from Cobleskill in 1973, she moved to Rochester, N.Y., and later to Highland Farms in Black Mountain, where she served a term as president of the Residents Council. She also volunteered in the library at Warren Wilson College for several years. An anthology of articles from Option, Lifted by the Heart, edited by Chris Spicer, was published in her honor in 2009. Kay was preceded in death by two brothers, Don Parke and James Parke; a sister, Barbara Butler; and a niece, Sally Parke. She is survived by several nieces and nephews. A memorial service was held at Highland Farms on May 5 under the care of Swannanoa Valley Meeting. Memorial gifts may be made to Swannanoa Valley Friends Meeting, P. O. Box 1032, Black Mountain, NC 28711; American Friends Service Committee, 1501 Cherry St., Philadelphia, PA 19102; or Friends World Committee for Consultation, 1506 Race St., Philadelphia, PA 19102.

RushbyDarlene Cope Osborn Rushby, 75, on March 10, 2013, at home in Blue Grass, Va. Darlene was born on December 6, 1937, in Mapleside near Paullina, Iowa, to Elba Mabel Hinshaw and Darlington Cope. Darlene was a lifelong adherent of the Orthodox Quaker faith, growing up in Iowa Yearly Meeting. She received her teaching certificate at University of Northern Iowa and worked as an elementary teacher in Iowa and Kansas schools. She married James E. Osborn, and for several years, in addition to teaching, helped to operate his veterinary clinic in Hillsboro, Kans. James died in 1977, and in 1978 she married William Rushby. After moving to Highland County, Va., she served as a nurse at Pendleton Nursing Home in Franklin, W.Va., and after she retired she worked as the librarian at the Blue Grass Book Bank in Blue Grass, Va. She and William were members of Rockingham Meeting in Harrisonburg, Va., but for the last ten years of her life, they found spiritual nurture and Christian fellowship in the McDowell Mennonite Church. She will be remembered by her family and friends as a loving wife and mother and a gifted poet. Darlene was preceded in death by her first husband, James E. Osborn, and two sons, Douglas Osborn and David Rushby. She is survived by her husband, William F. Rushby; two daughters, Janene Good (Gerald) and Clarie Smith; two sons, Justin Osborn (Susanne) and Jonathan Osborn (Lindsey); three grandchildren; a sister; and a brother. A funeral service was held at the McDowell Mennonite Church, with Steve Good, Clair Heatwole, Andre Crummett, Daniel Freed, and Bradley Heatwole officiating. Active pallbearers were Allen and Gerald Good, Michael and Joseph Shell, Brad Rosedale, and David Schrock. Darlene was buried in the McDowell Mennonite Church Cemetery, with hymns sung as mourners filled the grave.

TuttleShirley VanWagner Tuttle, 94, on March 22, 2013, in Foxdale Village, State College, Pa. Shirley was born on January 29, 1919, on a farm in Pleasant Valley, N.Y., and attended a one‐room school through the eighth grade. She earned a scholarship to Oakwood Friends School in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., where she studied voice and piano while completing a college preparatory education, graduating at 16. After studying English and music education at Syracuse University, she taught for a year in upstate New York and then entered Columbia University, earning a master’s degree. She met and married her husband, Dean Tuttle, a year later, and they soon returned to Shirley’s childhood farm in New York State. There they built a home and raised two sons and a daughter. Shirley taught music in the area’s public schools for 25 years to children from many backgrounds and later gave private piano lessons. She and Dean sang in a community chorus and attended Bulls Head‐Oswego Meeting in Rhinebeck, N.Y., where they were active in their monthly, quarterly, and yearly meetings. Dean and Shirley worked for peace, civil rights, and social justice. Nearing retirement from teaching, she was approached by Friends United Meeting to be principal of Friends Girls’ School in Ramallah, Palestine. In her three years there she focused on giving the students peaceful ways to react to the social and military oppression that existed. After their return to the United States, Shirley became an Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) leader, working in both civilian and prison environments. Shirley and Dean moved to Foxdale Village in 1992, and she continued to teach piano, founded the Central Pennsylvania chapter of AVP, led workshops for the chapter, and served a term as president of Foxdale’s Residents Association. She attended State College Meeting, accompanied the Foxdale choir, and cofounded a community literary publication, The Miscellany. She also founded the Peace Choir at State College Friends School. Shirley spent her last years in Foxdale’s skilled nursing unit after suffering a stroke and a broken hip. Dale gave her unwavering, loving care, and she adjusted to her speech loss with peaceful resolve—her life’s work complete. Shirley is survived by her husband, Dean Tuttle; three children, Norman Tuttle (Rebekah), Joyce Tuttle Ollman (Peter), and Alan Tuttle (Lisa Joy); three grandchildren, Melissa Dean Tuttle, Adam Ryan Tuttle, and Jeremy Matthew Tuttle; and one great‐grandson, Robyn Asher Tuttle‐Tolley. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Central Pennsylvania AVP, 611 E. Prospect Ave., State College, PA 16801.

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