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Milestones September 2015

Marriage

Beach‐Goldstein—Wendy Beach and Don Goldstein, on April 11, 2015, in Bellingham, Wash., under the loving care of Bellingham (Wash.) Meeting, where Don is a member and Wendy is an attender.

Deaths

Bagus—Eileen Bagus, 68, on October 3, 2014, at Hospice of Cincinnati in Cincinnati, Ohio. Eileen was born on May 19, 1946, in Cleveland, Ohio, to Marie and William Bagus. Childhood trauma deepened her sensitivity to the suffering of others, and her Catholic upbringing gave her an affinity with the saints. After graduating from Seton Hill University, she earned a doctorate in philosophy from Pennsylvania State University and later, master’s degrees in psychology and social work. She taught philosophy at University of Cincinnati for 15 years.

A spiritual seeker who had mystical experiences throughout her life, she came to Friends in Pennsylvania and found her spiritual home at Community Meeting in Cincinnati, Ohio, in 1978. After an unhappy first marriage, she met Wayne Woodward in the hot tub at a local health club, and they married in 1980 after a six‐month courtship. Although she was overjoyed to welcome a son in 1981 and a daughter in 1984, after her daughter’s birth Eileen was hospitalized with postpartum depression and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. But although she worried that her early separation from her new baby might have affected their bonding, her daughter says that their bond could not have been closer. Eileen nurtured and supported both her children with great love, encouragement, and enthusiasm, and her mental health struggles helped her to understand and encourage others with similar challenges.

When she saw a need in the meeting, she put her prodigious talents and energy into meeting it: developing a three‐year rotation of themes for First‐day school that the meeting still uses today and sewing hand puppets for a class of restless children to make into characters for plays about John Woolman and William Penn. Persistent and intuitive, she used her perception of the spiritual gifts of others in her work on Nominating Committee; encouraged attenders to consider membership at just the right time in their spiritual journey; and nurtured the ministry of others on Ministry and Counsel Committee. She was a leader of the meeting’s Transforming Jail Ministries team that worshiped each month with prison inmates, and she tutored and mentored female inmates at a local corrections facility. She provided pastoral care for Friends who were ill or dying and loving compassion for those who were suffering. Eileen lived out her leading to help others and gave in great abundance to the life of the meeting. Her interest in spiritual healing, spiritualism, and the boundaries between mysticism and mental illness led to a spiritual healing group at the meeting and a workshop on mysticism at the Friends General Conference Gathering. She also served on the board at Haverford College. As a member of the Advancement and Nurture Committee of Ohio Valley Yearly Meeting, she traveled to other meetings to provide nurture during times of conflict. Eileen’s spiritual journey never ended, her breast cancer treatment becoming part of this journey. When her cancer returned after several years, she continued to mentor and guide others, showing Friends how to face dying with gentle integrity. Friends who accompanied her on this last part of her spiritual journey were honored to see the face of God shining in her eyes in her last days. Eileen leaves her husband, Wayne Woodward; two children, Will Woodward (Sasha) and Erin Rose Phillips (Josh); three step‐grandchildren; and one granddaughter, born on September 23, 2014, whom Eileen was blessed to be able to hold.

Crauder—Robert T. Crauder, 90, of State College, Pa., on February 24, 2015. Bob was born on January 31, 1925, in New Castle, Ind., to Mary Edna Carson and Harry Raymond Crauder, and was descended from a long line of Quakers. He earned a bachelor’s degree from University of Chicago in 1944 and a master’s degree from Wharton School of Business at University of Pennsylvania in 1946. In 1947, he went to China with the American Friends Service Committee (AFSC) Friends Ambulance Unit, earning seven dollars a month plus meals and living in group housing. He managed the finances of a village rehabilitation project in Chungmu, Henan province, building a small hospital, machine shop, brick kiln, and two elementary schools. When in 1950 the political situation became unstable, he returned home in an eight‐month trip via the Middle East and Europe.

In January 1951, he met Renee Calm at a weekend workcamp run by David and Mary Richie in Philadelphia, Pa. Five months later they married under the care of Trenton (N.J.) Meeting, where Renee was a member, and lived for two years in Burma (now Myanmar), where he worked in finance for the U.S. Agency for International Development. He then worked for five years, during which their two children were born, for the UN Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees, in Lebanon, Egypt, and Syria. Returning to the United States in 1959, Bob worked as business manager for West Chester State University. In 1964–1976 the family lived in Yellow Springs, Ohio, while he worked as business manager and later vice president for financial affairs at historically black Wilberforce University. He worked for six years in Bangladesh as a rural credit specialist and returned to the United States in 1982 to work as business manager at Pendle Hill study center in Wallingford, Pa.; on the Middle East Desk at AFSC; and as auditor of AFSC’s project accounts in Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, and Thailand. He consulted for the World Bank on rural credit in Tanzania, the Sudan, and Uganda; did a financial management study of the two Quaker hospitals in Kenya; and served as volunteer treasurer for Philadelphia Yearly Meeting for ten years.

Bob and Renee were members of Trenton Meeting until 1983, when they transferred to Radnor (Pa.) Meeting, where he served on the Finance Committee for almost 20 years, was treasurer for eight years, and represented Radnor Meeting to Philadelphia Yearly Meeting. In 2004, when they moved to Foxdale Village and joined State College Meeting, he served on the Finance Committee.

He especially enjoyed hiking, birdwatching, and mushroom hunting. Well‐loved and always up for an adventure, with a wonderful sense of humor, he valued traveling and meeting people in other cultures, sharing his expertise with them, and seeing them receive appreciation. He was quiet and unassuming, but when he spoke, people listened. He said about his life of service, “I did ordinary work in extraordinary places.” Bob is survived by his wife of 63 years, Renee Calm Crauder; two children, Bruce Crauder and Elaine Crauderueff; four grandchildren; and two nieces.

Darnell—Howard Clayton Darnell Jr., 100, on February 22, 2015, at Foxdale Village, in State College, Pa. Howard was born on January 25, 1915, in Moorestown, N.J., to Helen Wills and Howard Clayton Darnell. A birthright Quaker, he attended Moorestown Friends School until his family moved to Canada in 1926; three years later he entered Westtown School, where he met his future wife, Doris Hastings. Graduating from Westtown in 1934, he majored in economics at Rutgers University, where he was bow oar on crew, and he and Doris married in 1938. He was a conscientious objector during World War II. In 1942 he briefly managed a factory in West Chester, Pa., but soon became a project engineer with American Waterworks Service Company. As a Registered Professional Engineer, for 19 years he designed and built pump stations, living during this time in West Chester.

People meeting Howard might have guessed that he was a Quaker, because his demeanor spoke simplicity, integrity, and gentleness. He served as clerk and treasurer in two Friends meetings. He had a lifetime interest in aviation, beginning with blimps and dirigibles at Lakehurst, N.J., and was a pilot for 20 years and a member of the Soaring Society of America and the Experimental Aircraft Association. Also qualified as a sailing captain, he enjoyed more than 20 years of cruising.

After he retired in 1980, he supported Doris in the lectures and shows of her extensive antique and designer dress collection, which had been given to her by hundreds of donors beginning in 1930, each item with a story about the owner and the times. During this exciting and unexpected period of their lives, he provided support for more than 100 shows, from Texas to Maine and on 11 cruise ships. They lived in Philadelphia, Pa., in 1961–1991 and then moved to State College. He continued soaring in the State College area, and his finely constructed models of sailplanes from his apartment now grace the Foxdale Library. He also enjoyed photography and woodworking, inspiring many Foxdale residents to take up woodworking projects under his leadership.

Howard was predeceased by his wife of 68 years, Doris Hastings Darnell, in 2007 and by his son, John Hastings Darnell, in 2014. He is survived by two children, Elizabeth Loyd Darnell and Eric Allen Darnell (Anne Peyton); a daughter‐in‐law, Katrina Van Benschoten Darnell; six grandchildren; four great‐grandchildren; and a sister, Marion Darnell Fuson.

Eastman—William Eastman, 89, on April 11, 2015, peacefully, in Victoria, B.C., Canada, surrounded by loved ones. Bill was born on July 3, 1925, in Winamac, Ind., and grew up in El Paso, Ill. He was first a member of Edmonton (Alberta) Meeting, then Fern Street Meeting in Victoria, and finally Saanich Peninsula (B.C.) Meeting.

He was a kind‐hearted, happy, and remarkable soul who touched many lives, sharing his wisdom, courage, strength, and happiness with all. He will be deeply missed, forever loved, and always remembered. Bill is survived by his wife, Yasuko Tanaka Eastman; a sister, Kate CarLisle; and many nieces and nephews. In lieu of flowers, donations to a charity of your choice are suggested.

Emerson—Doris Macintosh Emerson, 91, peacefully, on January 19, 2015, in South Miami, Fla. Doris was born on August 22, 1923, in Allentown, Pa., to Lilly Brown and W. Bruce Macintosh. Her family moved to Miami Beach in the early 1930s, and she married Richard P. Emerson, a child psychiatrist, in 1948. Doris and Dick moved their family in 1961 from the greater Boston area to Coral Gables, Fla., where they lived for over 30 years. Throughout her life she worked with the Girl Scouts—as a scout, leader, and board member. She was a member of the Mental Health League, a patron of the Museum of Science, and a member of the Coral Gables Women’s Club.

Active in the Religious Society of Friends for over 50 years, she was a member of Miami Meeting in Coral Gables and Southeastern Yearly Meeting, and she traveled to Quaker events throughout North and Central America. In the wake of Hurricane Andrew, backed by Quaker aid, she founded the nonprofit Amigos Construction and Community Development Corporation, which repaired and constructed homes in Florida City and provided training in the building trades. Widowed in 1993, she lived her last 20 years at East Ridge Retirement Village in Cutler Bay, Fla., where she served on the Beautification Committee and as president of the board and of the Village Town Meeting, bringing cheer to the Health Center when she drove her large Santa around in Christmas of 2014.

The Everglades, Pocono Lake Preserve, billows of rhododendron blossoms, blue skies, waving palm fronds, and her moss gardens were always a delight to her. She was a world traveler from Canada to Antarctica, and she and Dick enjoyed the symphony, chamber music, opera, art, and their close‐knit poetry group. Always with a craft project at hand, she was an enthusiast of history, boat rides, picnics, ice cream, Lebanon bologna, shoofly pie, model trains, and roller coasters. Friends and family appreciated her gazpacho and Key lime pie. In addition to her beloved dogs, she had an exotic menagerie of toucans, turtles, a kinkajou, cats, fish, and a pet skunk named Muskie.

Few could match her energy, despite her seventy‐year battle with arthritis. Her optimism, sense of humor, and infectious laugh were uplifting. She was a generous and wise spirit who had a knack for helping people find their way, and they often became part of her large extended family. She is survived by four children; nine grandchildren, eight great‐grandchildren; two sisters; and 14 nieces and nephews.

Gibian—Thomas George Gibian, 92, on February 28, 2015, in Sandy Spring, Md. Tom was born on March 20, 1922, in Prague, Czechoslovakia, the first child of Vera Ơindeláƙová and Richard Gibian, who loved books, music, and discussion. Tom was a junior ranked tennis player and loved to ski and play soccer. In 1938, with war imminent, his parents sent Tom and one brother to École des Roches in Normandy, and then to St. Edmund’s College outside London. When the Nazis invaded Czechoslovakia in 1939, his parents and other brother managed to join them in England, and in 1940, they embarked for the United States on a passenger ship traveling in convoy, surviving German bomber and U‐boat attacks before landing landed safely in Boston.

He attended University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill on a scholarship from the Institute of International Education, living with a faculty member and shoveling coal for the family furnace in exchange for room and board. Upon graduating with a bachelor’s in chemistry in 1942, he joined the Canadian Royal Air Force Czech section. Trained as a Spitfire pilot, he flew many missions and earned medals and commendations, but rarely spoke about his wartime experiences. While studying for his doctorate in chemistry at Carnegie Mellon University, he met his future wife, Laura Cynthia Sutherland, known as Peg, who was studying social work, and after he completed his studies, they married. They moved to Pen‐y‐bryn, a historic house in Sandy Spring, joining Sandy Spring Meeting. They opened their home and their hearts to many, providing comfort, shelter, encouragement, and a sense of connection to something bigger than themselves to their children and other family members, no matter how distantly related.

Tom used his comfort with the languages, cultures, and business practices of the United States and Europe as an executive in several multinational chemical companies. In recognition of his contributions, the Société de Chimie Industrielle (SCI) awarded him the International Palladium Medal in 1983. He retired in 1986, but maintained a lively interest in the chemical industry and served as director of the SCI American Section. He also served on the boards of Carnegie Mellon and Montgomery General Hospital and as clerk of the boards of trustees of Friends House, Inc., and Sandy Spring Friends School. Fellow trustees still remark wistfully that meetings both started and ended on time during his tenure. A member of the Cosmos Club, he served the Washington Czech community as vice president of the Czechoslovak Society of Arts and Sciences and founding member and director of American Friends of the Czech Republic. He loved traveling to see new places and to visit family and friends, particularly those in Czechoslovakia/Czech Republic and those who had immigrated to Israel, Chile, and around the world.

Leading by example and modeling grace and common sense, he was brave, adaptable, respectful of others, open‐minded, and willing to learn from everyone. He loved the life that he was blessed to live, and he often spoke of his love for Peg and his respect and gratitude for her as his wife and as the mother of their cherished children. Tom is survived by his wife, Laura Cynthia Sutherland Gibian; four children, David Gibian, Janet Hough, Barbara Gibian, and Tom Gibian; 12 grandchildren; and two great‐grandchildren.

Means Underhill—Janet Hinsdale Boynton Means Underhill, 84, on September 2, 2014, at home in Lindenhurst, Ill., following a summer accident, surrounded by her family and nature. Janet was born on November 18, 1929, in the river town of Red Bank, N.J., to Helen Ross and Samuel Burritt Boynton, and grew up walking the woodland trails, finding comfort and beauty in nature that would enrich her throughout her life. After attending Wheelock College, she married Richard Means in 1950, and they moved to the Chicago area, eventually settling in Lake Bluff, Ill., where they raised their children. Early in her career she taught in elementary school. She visited Lake Forest (Ill.) Meeting and immediately felt at home with Quaker worship, the presence of the Spirit, and a Friends community who let their lives speak. She joined the meeting in 1974.

Dick died after 28 years of marriage, and Janet received a master’s in social work from University of Chicago in 1985, going on to help people with life‐changing events, including AIDS. In the late ’90s she and Tom Underhill married under the care of Lake Forest Meeting. They had four years together, on Cape Cod and in Lake Bluff, before his passing in 2003.

In her retirement she took part in spiritual retreats and education. A religious seeker and finder, an advocate for peace, social justice, equality, and the environment, and a beloved part of Lake Forest Meeting, Janet sensed the Eternal throughout her life and sought out those who gathered to share this sense. She served many with her gift for therapeutic touch. She was a grounded presence in meeting for worship and tireless in her service to Lake Forest Meeting and Illinois Yearly Meeting, which she represented  to Friends General Conference. In her 2004 Yearly Meeting Plummer Lecture, “The Mystery of It All: I Give Thanks,” she said, “I trust that God is here, the way will open, and I will be guided on the way everlasting.”

Janet is survived by three children, David B. Means (Sonja Carlborg), Betsey M. Wills (Scott Wills), and Sarah C. Means; Tom’s two children, Sally Underhill Wisseman (Charles) and Nick Underhill (Mary Kay); one grandchild; Tom’s three grandchildren; and a brother, Samuel B. Boynton Jr.

Births, marriages, and deaths.

Posted in: Milestones, September 2015: Reproduction and Family Planning

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