U.S. Quakers Observe Transgender Day of Remembrance

Illustration by Jabir Thurakkal

Members of Lake Erie Yearly Meeting convened an online vigil in November to commemorate the deaths of transgender individuals who lost their lives in the prior year. The meeting, which included about 18 worshipers, took place on November 18, 2025, in honor of Transgender Day of Remembrance.

The annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) has been recognized every year on November 20 since its inception in 1999. The observance traditionally involves reading aloud the names of transgender people who have died since the previous year’s memorial gathering. Participants seek to honor trans folks, make their lives visible, and oppose anti-trans violence.

In addition to remembering trans folk who were murdered, the vigil memorialized those who had died by suicide or overdose, according to participant Lily Wiest, a member of Ann Arbor (Mich.) Meeting, who read some of the names. A majority of the transgender people remembered at the 2025 Day of Remembrance were in their teens and 20s.

Wiest read some of the approximately 60 names of transgender individuals in the United States who have lost their lives in the past year.

“The horrifying truth is that there were so many names,” Wiest said.

The list was compiled on the website tdor.translivesmatter.info. The site started with the writing and research of Anna-Jayne Metcalfe, a British transgender woman who planned a 2017 TDOR vigil in Bournemouth, UK; and it documents the deaths of transgender people around the world.

To organize the observance, Brittany Koresch, of North Columbus (Ohio) Meeting, connected with the clerk of Lake Erie Yearly Meeting and asked for support. Koresch asked Susan Towner-Larsen and Don Buckingham from North Columbus Meeting to serve as facilitators. Neither Towner-Larsen nor Buckingham identify as transgender. They both said yes immediately.

“This is an opportunity for allies to step up,” Koresch said.

Koresch appreciated readers’ ability to be vulnerable and imperfect, for instance slightly mispronouncing names. The solemnity of the readings particularly touched Koresh, who valued “being able to bear witness to the different ways the readers gave gravity and gravitas to the names while they were reading.”

Drawing by Aran Reinhart during the 2025 Transgender Day of Remembrance Zoom vigil. Courtesy of the artist.

One worshiper expressed his experience during the vigil by drawing a multicolored abstract image. Aran Reinhart, who is part of the transgender community, explained that the creation arose spontaneously.

“I don’t plan it; it’s whatever comes,” said Reinhart, a member of Broadmead Meeting in Northwest Ohio, who read some of the names at the vigil.

In addition to hosting gatherings for TDOR, meetings can support transgender individuals by updating portions of Faith and Practice that deal with sex and marriage, according to Wiest.

Quakers should practice discernment and hold clearness committees on topics of sexuality and identity so they can be a public moral voice, according to Wiest.

Reinhart grew up Catholic, became a spiritual seeker, then converted to Episcopalianism, then became a Quaker. At a Quaker meeting, he met a transgender man who had transitioned and was accepted by other worshipers.

Another Friend said to Reinhart, “You are safe here.” Reinhart considered these words extremely important. Reinhart realized he was transgender identity at age 39.

Reinhard suggested that Friends can begin to oppose anti-trans violence by educating themselves about the experiences and spiritual needs of transgender individuals.

“We just want to be who we are. It’s not a big ask,” Reinhart said.

Sharlee DiMenichi

Sharlee DiMenichi is a staff writer for Friends Journal. Contact: [email protected].

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