Budgets as a Tool for Liberation

The first time I built a budget was with the guidance of Pauline, a good friend from the Unitarian Church I was attending at the time. I had shared with Pauline that although I was able to pay off my credit card in full, I had only $32 remaining in my checking account with two whole weeks until my next paycheck. Money was tight every month for my boyfriend and me.

Pauline, who was 50 years older, gave me paper budgets and helped me categorize my spending. She taught me that gaining awareness of the flow of your household’s money is a crucial first step to having more peace with this area of life. Without judgement, she reviewed my transactions and pointed out areas for improvement, such as tweaking my student loan payments to get out of debt faster.

I felt so shocked by my financial situation. I had always been prudent with money and had grown up being teased for being “coda” (Mexican slang for cheap). My mom taught me to bargain hunt, and my dad taught me to be wary of debt. So why was I in this situation after completing a bachelor’s with honors and earning a master’s? Why was I so broke?

Some of the reasons were out of my control, like the fact that I graduated into a still recovering economy in 2010. Other reasons were strictly within my control, like how I used the money I did have and whether I could take advantage of every opportunity open to me.

It was during this “come-to-Jesus” moment of having only $32 for two weeks that I received a zero-percent balance transfer offer from a credit card company. I took the offer, built a budget around paying off the debt in 18 months, and felt an immediate sense of relief. From then on, my boyfriend and I went on strict austerity measures. We used a cash-envelope system for discretionary spending, and I met with Pauline every few months to share our slow but diligent progress.

Over time, our budget changed, and I settled on the budget that I still use today: the balanced money formula from All Your Worth by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi. The formula is simply 50 percent for must-haves like food and housing; 20 percent for the future, like retirement, paying off debt, charitable giving, and savings; and the remaining 30 percent for fun, like eating out and gifts. I consider charitable giving to be contributions toward the future since it is building the future I want to see.

This budget helped me make decisions about potential job changes, and it was while on this budget that I first began to imagine life on my own. I had begun to recognize the relationship I was in was unhealthy and codependent; understanding my budget helped me see I could live on just my income. With this budget, I later orchestrated a career change, a cross-country move, and becoming an entrepreneur.

I am now in such a different place. I carry no debt. I have a luxuriously full emergency fund of six months, a savings account for self-employment taxes, and a savings plan aimed at buying a home within five years.

One of the sweetest moments in my life was meeting with Pauline four years after the start of my budgeting journey. I showed her my color-coded budget, how I had adjusted it to my lower income as a single person, my multiple automated savings accounts for travel and holiday gifts, and my debt pay-off plan for my student loans. I told her that I tracked my groceries manually by writing the running monthly total on each grocery receipt. I told her that I still used cash to give myself a weekly “fun allowance.” After all of this Pauline looked at me with genuine joy and said, “I’m so proud of you.” My heart still fills up with gratitude remembering this moment.

Pauline lived a generous and well-thought-out life. In her 80s she shared with me that she was now going for first-class flights because her body no longer tolerated the cramped spaces in economy seating. After her husband’s unexpected death, she remodeled her bathroom and garden in a sudden and deep realization that her time was finite and that she wanted to love where she lived. Pauline was committed to tithing and loved sharing how her own entrepreneurial journey helped her secure her financial life as a  child of immigrants.

Pauline passed in 2019, and a year later I began money coaching to share what she taught me: that a budget is an essential tool for liberation—a place where we can put our values into action, where we can let our life speak. Having a budget helped me take risks, and it helped me set priorities. Having a budget keeps me in touch with my community through my commitment to redistribution. Having a budget both gives me guidance and shines a light toward where I’m headed.

Coming up next month: Season six of Quakers Today is ending soon! The final episode in our Quakers and Money series will air on October 13. In next month’s column, I’ll be reflecting back on some of the topics my cohost Peterson and I have discussed the past six months

Resources and Recommendations

For more on being intentional with your finances, check out the January 2025 issue of Friends Journal on How Meetings Use Money (available at Friendsjournal.org/issue-archive), especially the article “Aligning Finances and Faith” in which Arlene Kelly and Pamela Haines share their monthly meeting’s journey toward responsible stewardship of its significant endowment. Diana also recommends the book All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan by mother-daughter duo Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi.

Do you have a question about Quaker values and money? Or a resource to recommend from your own financial journey? Let us know and you might get featured on the show! Leave a voicemail by calling 317-QUAKERS (317-782-5377) or send an email to [email protected].

Quakers Today is a production of Friends Publishing Corporation. Listen at QuakersToday.org or your favorite podcast app, and watch extended video interviews on our YouTube channel at Youtube.com/friendsjournal.

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