My Two Secret Angels
I have two angels. I don’t normally talk about them in Quaker circles because I have been under the impression that Quakers do not believe in angels. I don’t recall reading anything about angels in George Fox’s Journal or in writings of William Penn or other early Friends, although I could be wrong. Perhaps angels were swept away with the steeple houses and other intermediaries, such as priests and ministers.
I assumed that if there were present-day Quakers who believed in angels, they were keeping that belief a secret, as I have been keeping mine. I was therefore pleasantly surprised to read Robert Stephen Dicken’s essay “Conversations with My Guardian Angel” in the April 2025 issue of Friends Journal and learn that I was not alone: at least one other Quaker had an angel, too. Robert’s essay encouraged me to break my silence and share the story of my two angels with the hope that it may bring forth more stories about angels from other Friends. So here it is; bear with me.
My first angel is represented by a statue on top of the low bookcase that is adjacent to my bed. The angel is a bronze, brown-gold-colored naked man about nine inches tall with large wings that stretch from just above his ears to just below his knees. They must be enormous when he unfolds them to fly (something, of course, that a statue never does), but then, perhaps you need very large wings to lift whatever weight (if any) an angel has. Although some male angels in the Bible have names (as did Robert’s Quinton), mine does not, and, as far as I’m concerned, he has no need of one.
This angel is my Guardian Angel and is partially a residue of my Catholic upbringing. When I was quite young, I was taught to believe I had a guardian angel, although its function was not exactly clear. My current belief about my Guardian Angel is influenced by a prayer that I say each morning, which is derived from prayers said to have been recited by Muhammad (peace be upon him). It begins with this line: “Thank you for returning my soul to me and revitalizing my body.” This statement expresses two concepts: first, that while we sleep our souls, our spirits, return to the spirit world to be with God where they are renewed and refreshed; and second, that it is the soul/spirit that is the source of the life of the body: that gives vitality and sustains life, just as it gave life to the body at birth.
Given this view, the function of my Guardian Angel is quite clear: it is to guard my body while I sleep during the time when my soul is absent, because otherwise, the absence of the soul would result in death. That is why he is right there beside my bed. He is like a substitute soul or like those life-support systems in hospitals that keep the body functioning when, for whatever reason, it can’t function on its own. He does this—exactly how I am not sure—until my soul returns in the morning and revitalizes my body, bringing it back to life. Then his function is over; like a runner in a relay race who passes the baton on to the next runner, he passes my care on to my second angel, who has a somewhat similar name but a very different purpose.
My second angel is my Guiding Angel. He too is male (as I believe the angels of all men are male, and those of all women are female). I have no statue of him because, unlike my Guardian Angel who is fixed in place beside my bed while I sleep, my Guiding Angel is more like an invisible spirit that follows me around wherever I go. Just as my Guardian Angel is naked while I sleep naked, my Guiding Angel is clothed, as I am during the day. He is somewhat like that figure of Jesus in James Doyle Penrose’s painting The Presence in the Midst (which Robert also mentioned in his article): a transparent figure, silently hovering over me in the same way that Jesus was depicted as a transparent figure hovering over a gathering of Quaker men and women in Jordans Meetinghouse in England. Most of the time, I’m not aware of his presence, but sometimes his presence is so real that if a spiritually enlightened friend were to meet me while out walking, I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked, “Who’s your friend?”
This angel carries a small notebook—small enough to fit in the pocket of his pants—which he consults from time to time. It is the Book of My Life or more accurately, the Book of My Destiny: the destiny that was written for me before I was born. It describes the lessons I am to learn during this incarnation on Earth and the experiences and relationships with people that will help me learn those lessons and progress along my spiritual journey. He knows its content well, whereas I do not know it at all. So when he consults the notebook, it is not to seek direction; it is usually just to check off a box indicating that an experience or lesson has been completed. Sometimes, when I appear to have taken a tangent out of fear or self-indulgent willfulness, he will consult the notebook to see if it is a true tangent (often it’s not), in which case, he will help me to get the best out of it while gently and gradually steering me back to the path I’m intended to follow.
Strangely enough, he is able to do all this without ever speaking to me directly. Instead, he orchestrates events and my interactions with other people so that these people and events guide me along the path of my greatest potential spiritual growth, even though they don’t realize that this is what they are doing. I’m not sure how he does this, but that he does this, I’m quite certain. Let me give you two examples.
Do I believe all this, or is it just something I’ve imagined to provide a comfortable explanation for the many things I can’t explain? I know my life is not under my own control; of that I am certain. And guiding and guardian angels are as good an explanation for how God manages to lead my life as anything else.
When I was a high school senior, I had to decide where I would go to college. My guidance counselor and my parents thought I should go to a specific school, and I went along with their choice because that’s what I did in those days. But when I visited the school, I hated it. The school required applicants to take the advanced SATs in two subjects in which I had straight As. I did fine on one, but I did so poorly on the other that the school would not accept me. I had to go with my second choice, which was actually my own first choice. My Guiding Angel knew the first school was not the right place for me. But the only way to get out of it was to fail the SAT. I firmly believe he stood behind me, whispering in my ear all the wrong answers. (I was not clever enough to do that myself.) This is how he used an event to guide me to the right path.
Many years later, I was being considered for a prominent position at the university where I was teaching. It was a position that I felt I wanted. While on a trip to Philadelphia, I “accidentally” bumped into the man who held that same position at the University of Pennsylvania. I hadn’t spoken with him in years, but he said he knew of my situation. When he said, “Don’t take that position; it’s not right for you,” I knew immediately that he was right. It had been my ego that wanted it. Although the man was unaware of it, he was the messenger my Guiding Angel used to give me the advice I needed at that moment.
When I look back over my life, I clearly see this happening time and time again. None of the major decisions of my life were ones I made on my own. Each one was the result of some external influence through which my Guiding Angel gave me the direction I needed at that moment.
At the end of the day, my Guiding Angel hands the baton of my care back to my Guardian Angel who takes over again while I sleep. And the cycle goes on, as it has for 85 years and as I hope it will go on for more years to come. But I know that eventually it will end. A time will come when my Guiding Angel will open the Book of My Destiny and check off the last box, the last experience, the last lesson I was to learn during this lifetime. He’ll close the book for the final time; then he will go find my Guardian Angel, wherever he may be, and let him know his job is finished. Perhaps they will embrace as they say goodbye, for even though their connection with one another was only these brief exchanges twice a day, they would, over time, have undoubtedly developed an affection for one another based on their mutual concern for my well-being. Then, like two birds sitting on a branch, they will suddenly take flight, taking my soul with them, and I might feel a gentle breeze from the beating of their enormous wings as my body comes to rest, to rest in peace, as the saying goes.
You may wonder why I need two angels; why isn’t one enough? The answer lies in their respective functions. The Book of My Destiny contains many experiences: some are ones I’d call pleasant, some unpleasant; some easy, some difficult; some joyful and some full of sorrow and pain I’d rather avoid. But all are essential for my spiritual growth. I don’t need to be protected from the difficult or unpleasant ones or steered away from them; I merely need to be guided along the path of my destiny to learn the spiritual lesson each experience has to offer. And it is easier for two angels to embody these two somewhat conflicting functions than for one to try to incorporate both.
Although it is comforting to think of these two angels as having human forms and characteristics, the fact is that’s not how I really think of them. I think of them simply as sources of energy that encompass me and send off their unique vibrations that bring forth complimentary vibrations within me. It’s those vibrations that keep me alive while I sleep and that help me to recognize the signs and messages that events and people bring to guide me along the path of my destiny.
Do I believe all this, or is it just something I’ve imagined to provide a comfortable explanation for the many things I can’t explain? I know my life is not under my own control; of that I am certain. And guiding and guardian angels are as good an explanation for how God manages to lead my life as anything else.
How about you? Do you also have secret angels guiding and guarding you on your spiritual journey? Let me know. And if you think that you don’t, well, you probably do, even if you don’t realize it.
Thank you, John Andrew Gallery, for having the courage to write openly of your spiritual/mystical experiences. The vocabulary matters much less than the experience, and I see in the writings of early Friends their acknowledgement of personal guidance from a higher source, though they may call it The Light rather than angels. It is ironic that sharing such experiences is not generally welcome among Friends, whose faith began as “experiential” knowing as opposed to doctrinal belief and tradition.
John, this is beautiful. I’d like to share an angel experience of my own. I do not experience it as antithetical to my Quakerism, but as a divine experience complimenting my own spirital joureny. I practriced law for 23 years, although the practice was good to me, I knew all along that it wasn’t my calling. Very soon after law school, I began to feel, deep down, that I should, instead, have gone to seminary. I handled the congitiive dissonance by reciting to myself, over over, the apocryphal advice from George Fox to Wiliam Penn, “Wear your sword as long as you can.” Twenty-three years after law school, while having dinner on my own in Center City, I was filled with with a very large energy and a voice, “Arthur, now is the time to take off your sword.” I knew, deep inside, that this was a voice from beyond, and that I could trust it without question. The next day, while driving to tell my law partner that I would be leaving the law practice, the angel Gabriel appeared to me , in front of the car and receding at the same speed, maybe fifteen feet tall, with wings outstretched toward me, and without words, welcoming me to this new place.
What an amazing experience. Thank you for sharing it. You were certainly guided into the right direction and having taken that you enriched so many other people’s lives, including mine.
John
I also feel the effect of Angels, although I cannot define them as accurately as you can. I ask them for help in unravelling difficulties I am facing. When I remember to, I also thank them for their positive influence on my life. I, too, have been led in unexpected directions and have wondered how. Your article is causing me to wonder how many other Quakers share this practice.
A thoroughly enjoyable article. I, too, receive direction in this way. Your article resonated with my soul. Thank you for sharing your perceptions with the rest of us.