Suffering in Silence

The Plight of Trans Friends in Kenya

Shem was brought up as a girl, full of promise. The child was very active in the Sunday School program of the church and represented the meeting in Sunday School conferences and retreats. With the onset of puberty, however, Sheilah’s body began to change. Rumors went out in the air that Sheilah had a beard; in many African communities, it is taboo for a lady to have a beard. Sheilah became reserved at school and was no longer interested in church matters. Eventually, Sheilah withdrew fully from the community, and after graduating high school moved far from home to study at a teacher’s training college. 

After some years had passed, Sheilah was back, now in daily newspaper reports about their fighting to be recognized as a man and working to have the National Examination Council and registration department change certificates to change their name to Shem. After a long struggle, he now identifies as male. Unfortunately, the Quaker Church never supported Shem on the path to seek identity justice, and even his own meeting did not counsel him in the crisis. It is because of this case that I am tempted to tackle this very difficult question among Friends of Kenya: the transgender issue.

Most talk among Kenyan Friends concerning sexual identity revolves around gay and lesbian issues, a perspective that has made some Friends around the world conclude that Kenyan Friends are too harsh in their tone. The transgender issue has rarely been given a thought, as is shown in the case of Shem. 

What Is Transgender?

According to the American Psychological Association, “transgender” is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression, or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.” From the example referred to, one can see that at birth and through childhood, Shem identified as female, but in the later years, he came to identify as a male.

Societal View

In African communities, being transgender has traditionally been handled with great care and away from the public. The identity was usually detected in the early stages of childhood. Mama Matroba Jumba of Kizivi Village Meeting notes that in many cases, the family had to come out clearly and seek traditional healing. As Esther Mombo observed in her 2006 story of Phoebe in The Quaker Bible Reader, “it was shameful to talk about such things in public.” These discussions had to be worked out behind closed doors. 

In many African societies, one is considered born either male or female. The documentation system of the Kenyan government, for example, recognizes one to be born as a “he” or “she.” Many Christian denominations also recognize one to be a “he” or “she.” Taking, for example, the children dedication cards issued across the yearly meetings by Friends Church (Quakers) in Kenya, there are only two options: one is born as either a “he” or “she.” The idea of one being identified as a “he/she” is not an option.

Suffering in Silence

Transgender people are suffering in silence among the Friends (Quakers) of Kenya and East Africa in general. They remain silent as they battle with the identity crisis in the society. The Quaker community is always judgmental: pointing fingers at them; spreading rumors to the entire community; and breaking their hearts, all of which makes them stay away from church. They suffer from stigma. Rejection is the norm, and once they feel rejected, they withdraw from society. 

It is tougher to find acceptance in education and employment fields because everyone must choose either to be male or female. If the registration of “he/she” were on the Kenyan documentation system, then such hostility and rejection would not arise. When such pressure is put upon a person, the only place that can give hope is the church, as the Psalmist says: “I will sing a new song to you, O God; upon a ten-stringed harp I will play to you.” (Psalm 144:9, NRSVUE). Yet today the church is treating them to silence.

A Call for Kenyan Friends

We have to accept transgender people within the Quaker community in Kenya. There are such people among us, but they are silent for fear of facing rejection in public. Many of the teenagers are finding it difficult to understand their identity, and the church has to come out strongly teaching the role of sexual identity. I propose that the Quakers in Kenya and East Africa in general agree to the following:

First, bring up transgender identity openly to the members, and overcome the issue of culture. This can be done by organizing sexual identity seminars, conferences on topical teachings, workshops, digital media platforms, and any other platforms to give out the message.

Secondly, accept and accommodate transgender people with love. They will then feel free to attend worship meetings and have a positive attitude toward the society. The church should form transgender groups, for transgender people to share their experiences.  

Finally, the church should petition the government to accept transgender people; recognize them; and, where possible, offer any medical assistance to them.  Sensitize employers to accept transgender people either in the public sector or in the private sector, and not reject them.

Conclusion

The example above told of a Friend being given the identity of female from birth. The later fight to be recognized as Shem should be an eye opener to Kenyan Friends that there are people who suffer in silence, though they might be small in number. The church needs to find ways of identifying such people within the meetings, loving, and accepting them. The church has a role to play in persuading the government to change the documentation system and ensure a safe environment for transgender people. The struggle of identity needs to be addressed with much thought and love as the Apostle John admonishes us to love fellow human beings first; then it will be a clear indication that we love God, whom we have not yet seen with our naked eyes (1 John 4:20). Transgender people are neither lesbian nor gay; they are people with a special gender identity that needs to be met with love and compassion.