Forum, May 2026

Finding a coherent spiritual language

I very much appreciate the idea of Nat Case’s “A Sacred Space for Argument” (FJ Apr.). I am left wondering, however, what is the structure for searching and exploring the structural integrity of “truth” with each other. Good listening is just a part of that. Early Quakers offered more certainty, I think.

Laurie Barrett
Madison, Wis.

I especially like when Case says, “the big open task is how we might make a sacred space for argument.” While we don’t test our leadings and our inspiration against the words of the Old and New Testaments the way Christians used to, I think we now have a wealth of spiritual guidance from many spiritual traditions. Part of making a sacred space for argument is trying to come together on a coherent spiritual language from the plethora of language from those traditions.

The language we have available to us is sometimes incoherent. For instance, “faith” for some people means belief, while for other people it refers to a spiritual practice. If in conversations with friends, we can agree on what we mean by words like “faith” and “grace” and “prayer,” we can have better conversations about deepening our personal spiritual practice and our practice as Friends. But people can be pretty attached to the language they are accustomed to, so if I say, “Your language doesn’t make sense to me,” that can feel like an attack. Talking with close friends, as Case describes, can, I think, be a way of approaching this task.

John Hickey
Philadelphia, Pa.

Nat Case’s essay on discernment posed some questions that I expect will stay with me for quite some time. Consider these two. Do we love the idea of a better answer? Are we willing to follow an answer that surprises us? Case is asking questions like these because he is worried that we aren’t reaching beyond our passions often enough. Passion is essential, he writes, but we need more: passion is not a skill that we can use for discernment.

I share Case’s concern. The current political environment is inflaming as many intense passions as we can all around us. Some believe these passions will lead us to change, but I cannot help worrying that such passions might just as likely push us to despair. Like Case, I’ve been thinking that we need something more; his profound essay explains what it is that we need.

Tom Lauderback
Louisville, Ky.

Listen to the other person’s feelings when they express themselves over any issue, and to what needs are behind those feelings. Then ask: how may those needs be met? Hopefully, they will do the same for the feelings and needs that you express about any issue. For me, this is a way to express love for each other’s concerns without relying on fixed religious or spiritual beliefs.

Ken Woerthwein
Felton, Pa.

Working through darkness

I’m grateful that Nate Crew is still with us and has decided to write about his journey (“The Journey Back to God,” FJ Apr.). There is a lot of wisdom and love in this article, even in the heartbreaking parts about those he has lost.

Em
Washington, D.C.

I am a trans woman and a Pagan with a shamanic practice. Shortly after I began living as a woman, a dark sister emerged in me, raging against me for the life I lived and pushing me to attempt suicide. This caused me to closely examine my life and the whys behind it. I used drawing, shamanic journeying dialogue with this sister, and study to deal with her. Through this I came to understand and accept my life and self. I try to walk the path of love for all things, including myself.

Robin Gray
Winnemucca, Nev.

A Quakerism that is Southern fried

We found people to come to Friends meetings (“Facing the Future” by Tom Rockwell, FJ June-July 2025), and we even know exactly where they are! The population boom is in the Sun Belt regions of the United States, not the Midwest. And it’s in cities, not rural communities.

The secret sauce to Friends United Meeting (FUM) growth is to think and do outside the confines of Richmond and the good State of Indiana.

Spiritually, FUM is likely on track for the Sun Belt (ignore the naysayers about this issue, do what you do). Avoid making something that mirrors evangelicalism or other denominations of Christianity (mainlines have tried that, and generally failed). Stay unique, stay Quaker, but it cannot be un-Jesus or it will not fly with any vigor in the Sun Belt.

The Sun Belt is also much more diverse in demographics than the Midwest (save the big cities). Keep it real, but it has to be Quakerism that is Southern fried. In Florida, it needs a Caribbean-and-palm-tree flavor with a Jimmy Buffet vibe and a good air conditioner. In Texas, Quakerism served with chili and a pickup truck with a hound dog cage in the bed (even in cities) and a willingness to drive 85 mph. On the Alabama Coast, it needs to have a New Orleans feel with a cayenne shrimp boil with corn and potatoes and gumbo. And throughout the South, grits and sweet tea. Wearing sandals to church is okay, and hurricanes are just part of it all. And football, baseball/softball, and soccer are fun. If Quakerism condemns football in the South, it’s like leaving Jesus out of church.

If you are going to keep FUM and Friends from going the way of the pterodactyl, then you need to find a new habitat in areas that are experiencing 6 percent, 8 percent, 9 percent population growth over the past six years! Richmond, Ind., is not that place, even though that’s the historical mothership landing site. Drive on down U.S. 27 or any southbound interstate and come see!

The cars sitting in traffic jams looking at orange-and-white traffic barrels and an emptying concrete truck, the suburban sprawl homes, and hurricane-ready beachfront condos are filled with people waiting for your arrival to launch new meetings.

But “boo-hooing” and worrying over financial cliffs is just feeling sorry for yourselves. Follow the people. Many are transplant Midwesterners.

Lawrence M.
Pensacola, Fla.

East African Friends and LGBTQ issues

Many thanks to Esther Mombo for “Wrestling with Gender Identity in African Quakerism” (FJ Mar.). It helps me, a transgender Friend from the United States, have a more nuanced understanding of this issue and the tensions and complexities within it. In particular, I was struck by two of the author’s observations. First, the criminalization of same-sex relationships heightens the emotionality of discussing LGBTQ issues in Kenyan and East African Friends’ contexts. Second, the description of religious groups navigating perceived Western influence and proving authenticity in the wake of colonialism. I feel a deeper empathy and connection with East African Friends from having read this. I am grateful to the author for taking the risk of speaking very directly and publicly to these issues.

Kody Gabriel
Albuquerque, N.M.

Integrity must begin within oneself

The issues of sexual and gender identity have been very divisive in many religious communities (“Living Truth with Integrity: Lives of Trans, Nonbinary, and Intersex Friends” by Ted Heck and Jim Fussell, FJ Mar.). Adopting inclusion and acceptance has challenged many meetings and led to division and disharmony, but Quaker testimony has always been to do what we believe is right today and not what we thought was right yesterday. With new knowledge and an open mind can come understanding, and understanding is a core component of love. The lack of understanding results in fear.

Integrity must begin within oneself. Learning and accepting who you are, embracing the result and its consequences is the only way to stay true to yourself. Without inner integrity, one loses all connection with oneself. This is terrifically damaging. We often speak of being in a closet, but for many it’s more of a dungeon.

Emily A. Meyerding 
Ocean Park, Wash.

Thank you, Friends, for this moving witness to the enduring presence of trans and gender non-conforming Friends deep into Quaker history. Our Queer family reaches back into the past, even before the words we use to identify our experiences were invented—and we will be here long after the political movement that demonizes us has been forgotten. We are led by Spirit to know ourselves radically—and neither Spirit nor this knowledge may be extinguished.

Ophelis Eryn Hostetter
Haddon Township, N.J.

Hearing from older folks 

As a 30-year-old queer, I always love to hear from older folks in the queer community (“Are You a Girl or a Boy?” by Mico Sorrel, FJ Mar.). Sorrel’s experiences resonate with me so deeply. It is reassuring to see that, though many things have changed (both for the better and the worse), the core experience of being a queer kid outside the binary is nothing new. I vividly remember retreating to my room after my first period showed up and crying for an hour, feeling like I had been betrayed by my body and that nothing would be the same again. I also remember, later that year, feeling a burst of joy when I was dressed up in a suit for some occasion and a stranger called me “sir.” I have since embraced the lack of binary and do my best to live without it, but those years of feeling pulled in every direction still stick with me.

Kala
Vassalboro, Maine

We’re all made of the same stuff

I was struck by this statement in Leticia Garcia Tiwari’s “Silence as Refiner’s Fire” (FJ Feb.): “The fact that there exist separate words for ‘sun’ and ‘human’ implies separation, even though most elements in our bodies are made of the same materials and come from the same cosmic origin.”

These words brought a minor explosion in my thoughts: What would our relationships become if we took this to heart and changed our language? What if when I saw you coming, I thought, Here’s God being , or, when I was walking in the garden, Here’s the Presence being tomatoes! What if I noticed, There’s Source being mountain, and, There’s the divine Friend flowing as ocean!

I know we’re all made of the same stuff; I was given a vision of that once. I know that we all contain a divine spark. Yet naming this frequently makes it more real—gives it a body, so to speak. It gives it every body, actually.

It would be difficult to forget the Divine is present in you if I add it to your name whenever I see you or even think of you. What if we all did this? How could I not steward everything to the best of my ability if I constantly name it all with God’s name?

So I’m making it part of my spiritual practice to mentally name this unity for a while. Perhaps I’ll even greet you out loud that way. How would you feel if I did? How might it affect any conflict between us?

Shulamith Clearbridge 
Swarthmore, Pa.